should i pry my ass off the couch yet? ya think?

so, long story short, today we were supposed to spread my grandmas ashes. she requested no funeral, to be cremated, and her organs (as many as survived.... in all honesty, after her smoking for 40+ years and drinking just as much, lord knows what they salvaged ((i'm going to hell for saying salvaged)) but at least they were able to help someone out there) to be donated. so, bc of that, we aren't getting her ashes today. we were planning on going to the cemetary and putting half on my grandpas grave (illegal, yes, but hello? my family? this is hardly anything, especially since she always wanted to be with her husband in death. it's the least i can do to bend the rules, justhisonce. or. whatevah.) and half in the forest she used to play in as a kid. her favorite place, where she grew up.

where was a going? typical lauren fashion, i'm side-tracked once again. sigh.

anyway. so. turns out, bc she donated organs, (go g-ma) her ashes aren't going to be 'ready' (how morbid is that?) until this weekend. my aunt (my grandmas daughter) has to go back to florida, where she lives. she already extended her stay.

so, we decided, we will put her ashes in an urn and wait until my aunt comes back up to spread them. i'm thinking we should do it next year on their wedding anniversary, but it's also my uncle's bday so... that may be too upsetting for him. but. just an idea. in a year from now.

so meanwhile, i have no job and before i was excited and now i'm sort of freaking out. i know it's hard to get a job right now, which is okay, but... even tho i haven't REALLY tried i got rejected from a city commerce job that kind of made me take a blow to my self-esteeem. but. it is what it is. i'm still trying to figure out what i'm going to do this fall, for school, how i'm going to pay for it and what classes i can take toward a degree that's going to ultimately benefit me longterm.

my brain is exploding!!!!!!


just curious, what do ya'll do ??? what do you do for work? or what do you do during your day if you DON'T work??? i'm just curious. i know not a lot of people read this, but those that do, i'm curious about what you do and how you do it. consider it, blog-in-reverse.


if you ever want to ask me any questions, too, please!!!!!! feel free. i'm an open, cracked-spine book. ask anyone.


so, tomorrow, i am going to start posting pictures of my trip to florida. FINALLY.

i missed you guys. i thought about closing this down. then i thought, i'm no pioneer woman. i'm no.... big name on the intronet. but i can put my say on my small space and be who i am.

let's just give good wishes, tonight, to my grandma, phyllis, who donated organs and helped an anyonymous person out there.

i'm sure she's lookin down toasting her old style, sayin, of course i did. what kind of person do you think i am???? ................... gimme a beer whydoncha.