Tuesday, September 30, 2008

lazy gourmet strikes again

oh, i just tried to write a huge long ranting and raving post and then i looked at it and thought damn girl! when did you get so negative? so i crossed it out and started again. and there are definitely things in my day that happen to me that i could explode about. uhm. about three of my biggest pet peeves of work-related stuff just happened to me within fifteen minutes. but what's the point?

i need to post pics- but due to the storm my husbands work (he owns an auto body shop) was completely flooded. as a result, his car was totaled!! so finally we heard back this afternoon what the insurance would cover, and what he would be approved for. needless to say, GREAT news bc he was approved for a loan way more than he needs, and his insurance agreed to pay for transfering plates/sales tax if he buys a car in the next month. and his rate is something insane like 5.2%. deep sigh of relief on that one.

in other news, we're still trying to unload this house. it's a bitch. a burden. and yet i'm still thankful that we have a roof over our heads bc a lot less could be said by other people affected by this horrible real estate market.

tonight my big plan is KRAFT SPAGHETTI. i'm not sure if anyone has ever heard of this wonderful goodness. but it is heaven. pure, lovely, fluffy white soft heaven that wraps you up like a spicy marshmallow. it is so delish. i love it. if you've never had it? go buy some. now. YUM. i know it's a boxed meal etc etc but this stuff? i have been eating since i was a kid. it's right up there w/kraft mac&cheese, which was the only mac & cheese i would eat. like this one time? we travel to Cleveland to visit my grandparents(fathers side)and she spends all day, slaving away to make a home-cooked meal. out comes mac & cheese- it was the only food i would eat a good amount of at the time- and it's.... from scratch. with...a brown oven-crust. and me? at seven? i'm like, aw hell nah gramma what's this??? where's the REAL mac&cheese? needless to say, my grandma shot my mom daggers the rest of the trip bc she fed her child 'artificial cheese.' (i've now since grown out of it and moved on to the best in the world. cracker barrel. ahem.)

kraft spaghetti is this spicy yummy tomato-ee experience that all must try once in their lives. how to make it: pick up one small can of tomato sauce;

and this is the only ingredient you need. i KNOW. spooky. so, you put water on to boil, add in some salt, then toss the noodles in once the water gets a-goin'. cook the noodles how you like- i love them super mushy. strain them, then IGNORE THE DIRECTIONS ON THE BOX. you will want to first, melt about 3 tablespoons of butter in the now empty pan- when it melts completely dump in the can of tomato sauce. then, the little packet of seasonings. i also like to add a dash of garlic powder. but i'm crazy like that. mix it all up, dump in the noodles and you are DONE by friend!!

it is simple, spicy, delish tummy pleasing goodness for a girl who is too tired to cook from scratch tonight. which i do. i swear. no really! i do. just not tonight. bc tonight?

it's totally no-responsibilities-just-veg-out-and-stuff-your-face night. the best night EVAR.

at least i'm conscious at work today

THIS face has been haunting my dreams. no, i don't have a thing for Japanese guys. (yes. i am happily married.) no, i don't keep a secret little sacred spot in my heart for little guys who tend to look constipated most of the time. (er. if you haven't watched the show, nevermind that last statement.)

i am, in fact, addicted to Heroes. i think i've mentioned this before. and while there is absolutely positively nothing wrong with that.... i seem to have a slight..... obsession.

you see, i haven't been feeling well. so what do i do when i don't feel well? (whine) i climb into bed, stick a movie on, and zone out. i lay in bed complaining, getting too hot/too cold for hours before i finally pass out in a nyquil stupor. cut to me , last night. you see, i sort of screwed myself. on Sunday, i passed out at like 5.30 (insane! i know!) and slept straight through until i had to get up yesterday. i walked thru my day like a zombie spikin' a nasty temp, and when i got home last night i took a shower and hit the grocery store. i was DETERMINED to make grilled cheese and chicken broth.
of course, bc this is ME we're talkin' about here, i ended up buying a different chicken broth than my usual sodium-laden brand.. thinking, oh, i'm going to GET HEALTHY and you know, stop being so BLOATED from my salt addiction all the time. and btw? it totally sucked. i mean, it tasted RANCID to the point where i threw it all out. ew. ugh. i just literally shuddered at the thought of that crap.
but the grilled cheese? excellent. i sliced up some fresh mild cheddar and monterey jack, slapped them between two slices of fresh sliced italian bread, melted about a stick of butter into my skillet and went to town. it made me feel a lot better. (so did the mac&cheese i also made on the side. sshhh. don't tell. im not supposed to have so much dairy when i'm congested!!! but i'm a rebel like that.)
so. after i do all this i'm like, screw the couch! i'm goin' to bed! so i tromp up to bed and drag my poor husband with me, who honestly bless his heart has no interest whatsoever in Heroes, pop in a dvd and proceed to zone out. and this, my friends, is called how i managed to finagle my way into watching Heroes FOR HOURS last night. seriously, from about 8 to midnight, i was ALLOWED to watch nothing but nonstop Heroes. usually we switch off... he watches something he likes, or we both like, but never usually something i'm addicted to that he doesn't have (the attention span) any interest in whatsoever. but bc i've been sick? ooohh it was on. as CG says it was on like donkey kong!!
and this is where we get back to my favorite character, Hiro. i just love him! he is too cute. i love when he throws his arms in the air and says 'flying man!!!!' i love how noble he is. i love how he tries so hard! i happen to also love Claire (Hayden Panettiere) which blows my mind bc before i was turned onto this show, i hated her! (well. disliked her. she was annoying.) but in this series? she. is. fab. i love the gal.
anyway. so what happens to me last night? i don't get to bed until after MIDNIGHT. and for a girl who has to wake up (aka husband leaves and forces me into consciousness) at around 5.30/5.45, it SUCKED this morning. so i'm running on low fuel. one engine. no gas. half of my air. and i had to pretty much pry the damn remote from my cold, clammy sick hand last night just so i could actually try to get some sleep.
i feel a lot better today tho. so goes to show you, while grilled cheese and chicken broth MAY work wonders? one can supplement Heroes for either and life will still work out fine. bc while i may be tired today? i think i finally beat my stupid lame cold!!! (or maybe i'm just delusional from all the green tea, vitamin c and zinc i've been mainlining. whatev.)
(oh. and also? never substitute mac&cheese when you have a cold. seriously. it is divine.)

Monday, September 29, 2008

pathetic little me

WOW life comes at you fast sometimes. i am writing a quick post bc, quite frankly, i feel TERRIBLE. like someone is stepping-on-me grinding me into the dirt kind of bad. old bubble gum you accidentally touch stuck underneath the chair bad. dmv a half-hour before closing bad. trying to grocery shop on payday with a hurricane comin' bad.

just bad, folks. i'm at work bc i'm determined to stick it out today. my head is foggy, my chest is congested, it feels like someone is sitting on my refusing to let me get a full breath in. my nose is alternating it's stuffy/runny wonderfulness while my eyes are blodshot and my forehead? is glowing w/this thin sheen of sweat. cold sweats. yum. now those are fun. (not.)

so i haven't had a lot of energy to, you know, WRITE something halfway interesting. oh, sure, there's a ton of stuff overflowing in this head o'mine from the weekend (which included the presidential debate, SNL, a russian brunch and some friends leaving a TERRIBLE mess in my house when i left them unattended.) (oh and a trip to abt, one of the most awesomest stores ever and not just bc it smells like disneyland) but i just dont' have the energy to sit down, upload pictures (yay!! i learned how to do this yesterday) and actually try to put something of value out there.

so i am posting this. not that anyone in cyberland waits w/bated breath for my postings... i'm pretty sure it's just me out there reading..... but for my own sake, for the sake of trying to feel better, get better, BE better, i make myself post. bc then i've accomplished something; now, at least i've been actively dedicated to something i could have easily stopped doing and still enjoyed all of my reading at other blogs. i do this bc it helps me to stay sane, it makes me feel good that maybe, just maybe i could make someone laugh... i do this bc it's my free therapy, it's a hobby, it stops me from indulging in a lot of other bad habits of mine. it reminds me that hey, i'm a person who has some pretty interesting ideas and thoughts and i deserve to be heard too.

it also makes me eat too much popcorn. but i won't hold it against you. :)

more to come when i can actually, you know, breathe without sounding 90 and all.

Friday, September 26, 2008

please forgive me-

...but i am so totally addicted to handbags that i MUST POST THIS HERE bc 25 votes?? are you KIDDIN' ME???? an unfair advantage to other people who want a free purse??? oh lordy be i am SO posting this!

head on over there bc really? http://www.handbagplanet.com is a really super duper sparkly great site.

go enter for a free handbag yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i mean, hello, it's FREE! who doesn't love free??!!!?!?

thankful for:

these, my dear friends, are bolthouse farm drinks. my latest obsession. that beauty right there smack in the middle is the main cause for the spike in my grocery store bill. bc that lovely lady right there? that's heaven in a bottle.

seriously. the passion fruit is this amazing combo of carrot juice, which i honestly NEVER thought i'd want to drink and lots of other yummy exotic fruits. it is SO. GOOD. i swear i literally EAT it not drink it, bc it has this super thick yummy creamy consistency that just TASTES real. you know. organic? real fruit? as in, not chock-full of sugar and artificial ingredients? yeah, i know, shocker, that there's fruit juice out there that's, ya know, actually made of fruit.

the only downside is that a little bottle of this stuff, 15.2 fl. oz to be exact is about 3 dollars. this makes me sad. the large bottle (my personal drug of choice) is a whopping $4.52. ??!?!?! for fruit juice? i thought fruit was, you know, natural and grew for FREE in most places on earth? sigh. just yet another thing that i'm having to give up bc i'm trying to cut costs.

also another obsession of mine? smart water. oh lordy be this is like the nectar of the gods for me. i may have already posted about it's wonderful vapor-distilled electrolyte enhanced goodness.. but it is just that. good. and i have to say, good news! bc a 33.2 fl. oz bottle of this water is a mere 10 FOR 10 at Jewel!! yes! score! something that won't bankcrupt me! well. you know. if i cut back on my four-bottle-a-day habit. but all things considered i think it's one of the better habits one can have.

okay only 8 more hours to go

okay! so today, i am determined to stay POSITIVE. you know. as much as a person like me can ;) a couple things on my mind today:

1) flu shot. has anyone ever had one? how was it? did it initially make you sick but then made you like superman for the rest of the winter? cuz i have this thing called an immune system, and see, it likes to skip out on me come january and that's when i work overtime for work (tax season) and can't afford to get sick. ever.

2) hair. i want to cut my hair. it's super duper long right now, super straight and blonde. BO-RING! i'm thinkin' bangs. but i'm freakin out bc bangs? can grow super fast. and me? am not a person who gets regular cuts. i'm lazy like that.

3) i am also determined to figure out where the heck the cord to my camera is. i want to start taking pics and posting them here, but for some reason i can't find that little dinky cord that does the magic of switching pics from camera to computer. sigh. this weekend will be a hunt.

4) researching cell phones, bc i want to switch companies and get a plan w/my husband. so now i'm super excited and i want to get one of those super high tech ones that i can record videos and take pictures and go online and twitter my little heart out.

5) am trying super hard not to eat junk food today. partly bc i want to get healthy but also bc the pants im wearing today? they're from Guess. and Guess pants? always are snug around the hip/tummy area on me. for whatever reason. so i'd rather not pop a button. that could be embarrassing.

(about as embarrassing as splitting my pants on the butt and not realizing it until i get home from work that day and take off the damn things. yeah. THAT was a stellar moment.)

other than that, it's super sunny today, a high of 79 is looming, and it's the weeeeeeeeeeekend!!!!! yay!!!! thank god. i can stay up late watching Heroes and won't have to worry about being conscious until late morning tomorrow.

all of my movies are late. i rented the first season of Heroes and it's now three days late. ouch. that's like 15 bucks i think. and then the other movie is late too which is .. 4 bucks. then redbox movie which will only be a dollar if i return it today before 9pm. which i will. sigh. i hate when i get busy and flake out on stuff. i HATE paying late fees bc it feels like i'm just giving my money away.

plans for tonight: vlad (my husband) and i are going to go to Balalika. yeah. it's a russian store. in a strip mall. next to dominicks. it sells russian cards, dvd's, cd's, knick knacks, etc.... we need to pick up a 'translator' for his dad, bc his bday is sunday. why on earth we're going to a russian store to buy an english translator, i've no idea. i thought, you know, best buy or something like that. but i was shot down. so it's russian night tonight. as long as i don't have to eat pickled beets or chicken livers, i'm straight.

happy friday everyone!!!

Thursday, September 25, 2008

mmm-mmm yummy, aka my favorite obsession EVER

so i was gonna jump on over here and do a quickie post on Sarah Palin. bc i've got this shiny new video i totally jacked from someone elses blog (thanks!) and thought hey, why not post this and tell the world just how frightened i am that she cannot even form one complete cohesive sentence??

but then i got two comments that made me smile super-big bc honestly, when you've been reading (stalking) someones blog for so long and to have them come over to your brand spanking new one and (gasp) COMMENT???

oh lordy be, that made me so happy!

so instead of being mz. debbie downer i just wanted to say, heya, shucks, thank ya'll so much. i'll continue to (stalk) read your blogs religiously as i always have.

bc i'm just (obsessive) loyal like that.

in other news, my husband and i are having a lot of financial issues (well one big one: our house) and i guess that's sort of where all that agnst/fear/petrified-ness/depression comes from. last night we sat (stood) around the kitchen, sort of just talking over the future, the next year, what's going to happen. bc i'm scared, ya'll. i'm scared of mushing up my credit for the 2 years it takes for a foreclosure to stable out, i'm scared that we're going to run out of money, i'm scared that i'll lose my job (even tho i really, really cannot stand it, and even tho they'd never ever fire me) i'm just plain scared. and scared is such a wasteful emotion, it really, really really super duper is. it makes your brain fog and your eyes glaze over and causes your whole body to freeze up. it makes you stupid, it makes you blind, it makes you make mistakes that could have been prevented. it also stops you from living, loving, embracing taking PART in your life.

so i told my husband last night that this is it, i'm done being scared. i'm done fretting over my stupid speeding ticket, done with these crazy day-dreams when i'm driving home from work stuck in the worst traffic ev-er that i'm going to get arrested and thrown in jail and then my cat will be homeless and i won't have a car anymore blah blah blah. i'm done freakin out over our townhouse bc frankly? there are people in the world who are hurting so much more then we are right now. and? we own a condo that is rented right now , that is totally affordable, and we're lucky enough to be able to still hold on to that property and move in there at the end of december. unfortunately, it means that if this house doesn't sell between now and then, we'll have to just throw up our hands, hang out heads in shame, and leave the whole mess behind us.
and ya know what? not being scared is probably the best feeling in the world. i feel lighter, like i can BREATHE again.

and don't get me wrong, i'm doing everything in my power to finagle my way out of this pickle as financially safe as possible, but some things in life, you can't control. i'm just sayin, not having night sweats bc i'm dreaming about the bank trying to hunt me down w/a swat team and k9 units is really super great. so is deciding to live my life, and not just wave as it rolls on by.
so every day from now on i am going to do a turkeypost, which is going to be me, saying hallelujah for something that i value in my life. and today? it is so totally this:

my fav hot sauce EV-ER, Cholula. oh, i could sing this sassy lil' girls praises till sunday, bc this sweet gem in the. best. thing. EVER to come in combination with my food. mmm. yum yum. great on eggs, chicken, popcorn, corn, rice, pizza, beans, i could go on and on.

oh, you sweet sassy mama, you rock my culinary world.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

does pouting make my cheekbones stand out?

so. today has been ,unfortunately, a day for pity. for myself. all for me. no one else. cuz i'm selfish like that, yo.

anyway. the whole morning started out GREAT. i woke up great, straightened my hair and that went great, my mascara and bronzer procedure went great, i found a pair of pants i forgot looked good on me so that was great.... i paired a necklace w/a new shirt and that was great. making good instant coffee (which is hard trust me) was super great, as was my drive in on the congested horrible construction-prone highway- even that was- wait for it- yes, great, bc it only took me about 40 minutes instead of an hour.

so all in all i was, ya know, you guessed it- great. and then i realized what a great big pessimist i am, and how much i absolutely despise that about myself. if there was one thing in the world that i wish i could change about my personality, it would be that.

ok. well that's a lie. i mean, i'd get like, four wishes, right? and that's not even counting wishes for my physical self. ahem. anyway.

i've always been a tad on the negative side. i don't know why. i grew up an only child, my father wasn't around much bc he was military so it was mostly me, on my own, or my mom and me. who treated me, thankfully, as a person not a my-brain-is-the-size-of-a-pea child. she treated me with respect. that also has it's downsides, as i am constantly reminded of how grounded in reality i am.

don't get me wrong. i love me some fantasy (orson scott card is amazing in my eyes for writing enders game) and all of that... but when it comes to me, personally? yep. total pessimist here. just slap the ol' empty glass name tag crap on me and call it a day. bc me? today? i tried so freakin hard to have a good day.

not a good day, no but in fact a great day! i had caffeine! i had actual work to do at work (what a concept) and not just busy work. i had new updated blogs to read. i had reserved the new sex and the city movie at redbox so i could watch that later. i had one disc left to the Heroes first season marathon. i was going to be GREAT today. i told myself that. over and over.

'today is great. see? you feel great. you look great. it's great. all of it's great.'

and then a coworker gave me a couple slices of a sushi roll and i was all, yum, this tuna is frickin' great! and then i was like, o man, i'm totally gonna follow my diet. i'm going to drink green tea at lunch bc i'm full from the small teeny sushi i ate. great!

and i read my book at lunch, which is GREAT. and towards the end i started to feel my edges wearing down. something started leaking into (out of?) me, and the small teeny tiny voice in my head said, 'yeah, what's so great about that?' and i didn't know what to say except, well....

i don't know. it just is. and so started my downward spiral into NOW, where i'm just a sad little indian who pouts and feels pathetic and lonely and chubby and not pretty or sexy at all. and feels notsosmart bc i'm still stuck in this dead end job where no one appreciates me. and i'm two sizes OVER what i'm comfortable being all bc of that damn place called dominos and how pathetic am i, that i can't resist a freakin' cheese pizza??? oh lordy.

it was all downhill from lunch. and i debated w/myself over making a post bc i thought, what's the point? who wants to read about pathetic ol' me? or pathetic ol' me bitchin' nonstop when i should be so frickin thankful for what i have??

and then i said, screw it, it's my blog after all. and let's face it, i needed to get it down on (virtual) paper so that i could see just how moronic and wasteful feeling like this is.

bc something i've realized in the past half hour is, okay, maybe i'm not frickin GREAT all the time but you know what? most of the time, i'm pretty damn good.

and right now? that's enough for me.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

ode to television series

phew! or whew? or lhew or chew? sometimes life really sucks the floor out from under me and sort of tries to bury me underneath the floorboards.

if that makes any sense.

this weekend was a whirlwind, i am still puffy-eyed from sleep deprivation. i am also addicted to Heroes.

anyone watch that?

oh lordy be, i could watch me some Heroes until my eyes pop out of my head from too much plasma tv watching. bc seriously? it is super good. and this, coming from a woman who was CONVINCED she did not, in any way whatsoever, enjoy Hayden Panettiere. nope. not at all. no way in hell. but then. something happened.

my mother told me, 'you? have got to see this. bc you? would so totally fall in love.'

so what did i do? i rented me some Heroes (1st season) and that, my dear friends, is where i have parked my behind since. in front of the t.v. in the living room, eating chips and dip and pizza and fried rice and sesame chicken and oo what's that there some ice cream and all the while just watchin away. and upstairs, in bed, at 5pm, on a saturday, watchin Heroes, watchin watchin away, the lights off curtains drawn and i swear, i look like i'm agoraphobic to the nth degree bc i am just. so. HOOKED!!!

so now i'm almost finished w/the first season. which means tonight when i finish it i must drive to the family video down the street and rent the 2nd season. and after thati don't know what to do with myself bc... bc................................................................(sob)

we don't have......(chin wobble)..............................CABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

turns out the lovely association at our subdivision doesn't like to cut trees (or do anything else. ahem.) so the tree in our backyard just-so-conveniently is blocking our satellite dish. and while we could in theory call the nice satellite man to come look at it, that would be a waste of time bc, well, he doesn't bring trimming sheers with him now does he. and i have tried to cut it myself (yes a futile attempt w/a kitchen knife) to no avail. so i am stuck, watching movie after movie, and now that i've seen every single freakin movie in family video (yes bc i'm too cheap to go to blockbuster. it is the devil.) i have moved on to series. old series. new series. any series !!!!!

so tonight? it's Heroes for me. and btw? i SO totally love me some Hayden. she kicks ass. she's a sparky lil' thing. who's got great hair. why can't my hair ever curl like that????

oh, and stay tuned for my sunday expidition into downtown where i decided HEY LETS GO TO THE ZOO with husbands russian sister and russian friends. yeah. THAT was a real kick in the pants. (not.) bc i just LOVE walking 16 freakin blocks in downtown when it's 80 degrees just to eat TAPAS which is SPICY and we have FOUR KIDS WITH US and.... and..... kids scream. loud. even if you tell them 'we're in a nice restaurant where we act like a lady.' yeah. that one backfired.

lord help me when i get one of my own. i may make them lock themselves up and watch Heroes all day just to avoid public embarrassment. (who am i kidding. i can't even go to the grocery store w/out tripping over my own feet. twice.)

Thursday, September 18, 2008

all sorts of snarkish behavior (or a.k.a. my date with mr. cop-badge-man)

this morning started out lovely. as in, i woke up NOT feeling like a truck had run me over. i could see the sun rising just behind the roof of another house from my bedroom window, my husband was next to me and we were languidly enjoying the few spare moments we get to indulge in doing nothing for the one and only portion of our day. it was nice and cool and crisp outside of the covers and i was snuggled down deep with my favorite blankie (hey don't knock me, i love that damn thing) and all was right with the world. i got ready, found a pair of killer BCBG slacks i had forgotten about for a year and was going to wear them to work. i looked good. good hair day.

and i wasn't running late. key word here.

so i get downstairs, get my stuff together, make a pb&j for the car since we're out of bagels and i desperately need carbs in the morning, open the fridge and discover YES! i have a vitamin water i totally forgot about. everything was right in the world.

(okay. this is a detour bc you must understand where i live. i live in a suburb of a major city. far north. some people say it's 'hickville' etc but really, honestly, i swear to you, where i live? yeah. we bathe. i promise i smell good and have nice hair. anyway, they decide in their idiotic minds to do construction on the street that leads out of my sub division.... and they decide to do it for two. entire. BLOCKS. and they don't do it fast. no, no, my dear friends, they do things s.l.o.w. bc out here? you're lucky that you've got a union job and damn if they're going to let us tax payers have any say whatsoever about not popping tires on that damn iron gates of hell slab they have thrown down over that enormous freakin' hole in the middle of the street. and another thing? i think they get kicks outta watchin' us hard-working suckers try to navigate over all that rocky terrain like we're matthew mcconaughey and are all ripped and muscled and you know, coordinated and stuff. bc me? i am not to be trusted on this street. it is TERRIBLE. let me say it again so you get the full effect of just how ridiculous this whole 'replace the pipes' project is. it adds another ten minutes onto my daily commute just so i get the absolute thrill of detouring all over the frickin' town just so i can get home. the whole point of this is to tell you, my friends, that the detour i take spits me out and makes me sort of do a half-circle instead of taking the normal straight-and-arrow road to the highway in the morning, but it works, and it's faster then sitting in that stupid traffic. i now have a hatred of 'stop' and 'slow' flippy signs. who made them god??)

i pull out in the morning chomping on my sandwich, listening to the morning radio, they're doing a segment on 'i'm happy that...' and then people were calling in telling everyone why they were happy. corny? yes. hilarious and wonderfully uplifting? you betcha. so i'm drivin' along, i stop at the red light, then i accelerate. and it's about, oh, a 40 mph zone, and yes my friends, i admit, i do speed. yes. to work in the morning, i do up it a bit and this particular morning i was driving probably 50. i was fluctuating between 45-50 and a little over 50. bc. you know.

no human drives EXACTLY the speed limit ALL THE TIME. only if you're desperately trying to stay at exactly 40 does that ever happen.

anyway. all of a sudden, i see a cop car going in the opposite direction of me. and what does he do? well, i'm sure you've guessed it. he pops a U-turn and gets right behind me. i can tell he's running my plates. i can tell, no- i know this is it for me. i know i'm getting pulled over. i can FEEL it in my bones. i start to sweat a little. i start to get nervous. i'm all, 'o crap, is my seatbelt on? check. both hands on the wheel? check.' and then it happens.

oh, yes. i was pulled over. and not only was i pulled over, i also had the wonderful bestest oh-you-sneaky-god-you cop ever in the whole widest WORLD! (that was sarcasm.) he was just so lovely when he came up to my window and demanded my license. okay, i get that part. the eye rolling? nu-huh. but do i say anything? no. this man holds the fate of my driving career in his hands. so he toddles off. comes back after i've completely had a panic attack and can feel tears prickling my eyes bc me? i don't handle stress well. at. all. i cry. i cry when i'm mad, sad, frustrated, anyoftheabove. so needless to say i was trying to hold it in as best i could.

and then, he YELLS at me, and says, 'you wanna tell me why you were going 70 in a 40??' and my response is, (wait, i know it's stellar) 'Oh my god!!!' and i was going to finish that great one up with 'i had no idea!!' when he snaps at me, tells me i'm irresponsible, and then continues to berate me for my lack of responsibility when he tells me that a)my plates are expired (yes, sir, i know, i sent in for the sticker last week ti hasn't come yet) b) my license has the wrong address (yes, sir, i know, all of my mail is forwarded to my grandmothers bc of school [she has a city address. plus it's the best i.d. picture, EVER.]) and c)well you know that your license is now INVALID BC YOU HAVE THE WRONG ADDRESS. (uhm, hello? anyone? this is bs and i know it.) so at this point, i'm like, okay, mr. cop-badge-man has it out for me, for whatever reason. bc now he's just throwing things around. he writes me a ticket for going 30mph OVER THE LIMIT. which, my friends, is where i have the problem, bc... i know how fast i was going... i'm not insane and i'm no dare devil. i was in a car crash last year that broke my hand and scared the pants off me and now i am cautious about speeding. well. i do it. but not THAT bad. i know i was going between 8-12 mph OVER the limit, not 30!!!

so now i'm facing... the fact that my license is gone and i have a measly ticket in it's place until i go to court.. and oh yes, i have traffic court... at a date to be decided.. so i can't even tell my work yet what morning i need off for THAT wonderful little party... and i have a fine. and the scary thing is? 30 mph is serious. and when i said, 'sir, i apologize, but i am positive that i wasn't going anywhere near 70, or even 60 for that matter. how is it you concluded 70?' and he replies, rolling his eyes and sighing at me like i'm five... 'uhm, i have a thing called RADAR. you were going 70mph. have a nice day.' and walks away.

wow. now let me just say that this whole incident? totally ruined my day. like, totally. being late to work bc of said accident, realizing i forgot my really good book-at-the-moment at home so i had to read a crappy book at lunch, totally flaking out on a lunch that my boss had to go to and was my responsibility to get him out the door to? yeah, those things didn't help it too much either.

say hello to your new criminal, who obviously developed a death wish overnight along w/a lead foot.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

it's one-of-those posts!!

Two Names You Go By:
1. Lo
2. Lori

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. nine west black heels
2. tr's watch

Two Things You Want Very Badly At The Moment:
1. a great, awesome, really super long book to read!
2. a vacation

Two Things You Did Last Night:
1. watched a kind-of bad movie. 88 minutes.
2. read part of my book, 'the 5th horseman' by james patterson, when i decided said movie sucked.

Two Things You Ate Yesterday:
1. caprese chicken w/steamed broccoli (okay. it was a microwave meal. still.)
2. peanuts

Two People You Last Talked To:
1. d, a guy at my work
2. j, yet another person at my work one who i actually like outside of these walls

Two things You're Doing Tomorrow:
1. working
2. taking a shower. wow. i'm thrilling

Two Longest Car Rides:
1. cross country, illinois to cali
2. cross country, cali to illinois

Two Favorite Holidays:

Two Favorite Vacations:
1. disneyworld with my mom
2. sarasota, florida w/ tr

Two Favorite Beverages:
1. iced tea w/extra lemon
2. water with lemon

sorry. had to do it. i'm a sucker for those stupid quizes.

mucus? anyone?

okay so as i'm typing this a co-worker of mine is in the bathroom, blowing his fricking nose like he needs to get his brains out NOW bc omg they're going to EAT HIS HEAD right off his body, and he'll be headless AND brainless and omg WHAT THEN?????

seriously. what the HELL is with people thinking it's okay to walk all the way from your desk, which is about a 45-second walk/thirty feet to the front of the office, to the bathroom, and go into said bathroom, WITH THE DOOR FRICKIN' OPEN no less, and blow until your eyes POP from their damn sockets?? seriously? is this okay? i mean, really? do you really need to share that with me?

the fact that you have a head cold so bad it sounds like you're dying w/out penicilin bc you're living in communist russia and they don't believe in treating people with medicine? huh? huh? bc o my dear god, sir, you are MURDERING ME.

close. the damn door next time.

or here's a thought. take one of the trillion boxes of generic cheap-ass tissue paper, or hell, live dangerously and take a whole ROLL OF TOILET PAPER which is probably softer anyway and put it on your desk, and when you gotta blow your nose, BLOW IT.

and spare me the sound effects next time bc really? bodily fluid, contrary to popular belief is SO not a turn on.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

ta-da!! i dids it!!!

so after many many hours spent ruthlessly digging thru link after link, blog after blog i am now officially, maniacally, feverishly beginning my own. foolishly? we shall see.

so i suppose the virgin post goes something like this....

i'm 24. i just got married. to a russian, who is a great guy, so we'll call him... the russian. we're tryin' to keep names secret, yo. and my name? mine, you ask? we'll use, Lo. i live in the midwest in a suburb, in a townhouse way too friggin' big that is a total and complete BITCH to clean, i'm obsessed w/buying more and more crap for my home (like bath towels. i mean, really, can you EVER have enough of those???) and candles. yeah. i know. i'm officially a fire hazard. not my fault the fire alarm sucks ass and is too sensitive. i have a cat. i do not have children. i am quite honestly petrified to have children- even tho i want them.

this leads into my obsession....... and....... i hate to typeitiknowi'llgeteatenaliveBUT: mommy blogs. there. i said it. it's out there. throw the stones, egg me, tp me, c'mon, i know ya'll want to. bc that term, surprisingly is vehemently LOATHED out there in cyber land.

anyway. so i'm addicted to them. i read them constantly. all day. every day. non stop. i read the christian ones. (i'm not religious) i read the cooking ones. (i try to cook. try.) i read the baking ones, knitting ones, child-rearing ones farm ones city ones ALL OF THE ONES. this is bc i work for a company that SUCKS.

and this, my friends out there, is quite frankly the purpose of this blog. to retain some sanity while i am STUCK IN A FRICKING JOB I HATE. with insane people. makin' me slap-happy all day long bc all i ever do it read the damn blogs and yes ihave even resorted to doing PUZZLES ONLINE bc gasp someone, anyone, no one has updated in the last 45 minutes!!!! and free cell, my friends.... gets old mighty fast.

ahem. so. i ramble. anyway. i am forgiven bc this is my first post. so hi. probably no one out there is going to read this but ya know, there comes a point in a girls life when you either officially lose your mind, or blog about it.