Thursday, April 30, 2009

i was tagged!! eeeep! prom pics and random craziliciousness

soooooooooo yes, i am feeling better.

no swine flu here.

not yet, anyway. lord knows i contract the most effed up virus's, EVER.

no, seriously. i once had fifth's disease. yeah. that's like, the japanese strain of chicken pox. or. measles. somethin like that. my dad brought it back, as a carrier, when he came home for leave time when he was stationed over there. thanks pops. (i know it wasn't your fault. but damn, yo, tough love.)

i was tagged for a ... uh, a tag thingie, about prom, of all things.

lordy be. prom? PROM? yer killin me here! so. i just so happened so have some pics saved in an online photobucket album from like, ages ago, and thought, hot damn, i can actually DO THIS ONE. go me. so.

i am putting a disclaimer. i know not what i do. amen. so Kels, here you go girl!!! you asked for it!

sadly, the only photo i have, ONLINE, from my junior year prom. that's me on the left. such class, such ... joie de vivre, right? RIGHT? i actually looked pretty good. this was the heaviest i've ever been. i topped out around 140 there.... i weigh about 115 now. i'm pretty much 5'7", minus three centimeters.

dude. it counts. my gyno totally measured me and EVERYTHANG. 5'7" yo! go me! ahem. enough with my stats. on with the show.

my senior year. again, the only pic i have, ONLINE. i'm sure my mother has eons and eons of photos. i still have this necklace. and the dress. it's cute. i was back to my normal weight in this photo. if you were wondering. which i'm sure you weren't. but. the summer between junior and senior year, i went to europe. germany, switzerland, austria, france and england. and. it was during mad cow disease... so, = no red meat. and i generally don't eat pork. didn't then. so what did i live off of?
the free croissants. in the hotel lobby. i would set my alarm for 6am when they were set out, in plastic crates at the hostels so i could run down, wrap em up in napkins and stuff my backpack full. then i would munch all day.
and chocolate. and beer. hey! you can drink at 16 there. i turned 17 in a pub in england. uh, hello? nothin' better.
anyway. i dropped almost twenty pounds in three weeks. thanks, croissants and chocolate. i also scored some really cool goat socks at a salt mine cave in switzerland. but that's another story. (still have the socks.)

since i'm on a roll, here's me, sophomore year, dead center, at a football game. wow, i look so young. and yeah. those are braces. (cringe.) i had literally SLID into home to take this photo- i was over on the other end of the field, doin what i do best, staring into space and wandering around kicking up dust. yeah. i'm the bright one.

this is a photo, of when i first met vlad. we were officially 'together', at his condo. his infamous condo. i could tell stories. but i won't. at least, not right now. look at my nose piercing!!! sigh. it's comin back ya'll and i will totally post when i get it re-pierced. it's a painful thing, MUCH MORE PAINFUL than my tattoos. oh, lordy, it was painful, mostly bc of the nerves in the face and it makes your eyes tear up and then they slap this gauze onto HALF OF YOUR FACE so you look like a squirrel went to town on it and you got patched up and it's uber embarrassing.
where was i again? oh yeah. so we had known each other like, three weeks here. look at how leetle he looks. heh. he would kill me if he read that.
which he won't. so. look how leeeetle he looks. :)

and this? oh, i just threw this one in there to prove that I AM THE ONE WHO ASSEMBLES ALL TENTS ON CAMPING TRIPS, NOT VLAD. don't listen to him. he couldn't build a tent to get outta a paper bag. that made no sense. i digress. i am the ONLY ONE who sets up the tents. and seriously? setting up four tents at once? yeah. totally need a cocktail after that.
also? side note? who camps in a denim mini skirt?
DEFINITELY learned my lesson the hard way on THAT one.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009


was sick yesterday.

am crawling and barely functioning today, but am at work.

have only nine days left of work. yahoo.

am leaving for disney in 19. YAHOO

still, feeling like i'm barely sitting here... wish i were in bed. today will be brutal.

have no internet at home. tragedy.

will update when both computer and body are in working order.

forgive. forgive.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

USB CABLES!!! joy o joy!

my mom bought me a usb cable.

is that what they're called???? eeeeep.

you know, so that i can take pictures on a real camera and upload them????

i'm also thinkin of buying a REAL camera.... although, the last camera i had was an old school minolta and oh dear lord i think i still have it and love it to death. would totally love to have a dark room.

somehow i think vlad would not like our bathtub to be a dark room. just sayin.

but anyway, so i'm thinking of buying a BIG GIRL camera and i'm not sure-

scratch that, i have NO FRICKIN IDEA what kind, etc, would work for me. all i know is that when i went to best buy they were EXPENSIVE. yikes.

so. just curious. what ya'll use, and why, and why it blows your skirt up or your socks off.

also? the meaning of this post was really to tell ya'll that i can take pictures now and show you my whole life and my house and once i figure out video, that too, so get ready for that this month!!!!

also? er, has anyone SEEN my camera? damnit.... i think it's in the car.

i'm always one wheel short, ya know?

Friday, April 24, 2009

so i went to the beach today.

and, let me say, die-hard midwesterners, the beach is not THE BEACH without the waves.

tho i had a few that were reminiscent of.... a lagoon.

i'll take what i can.

however, the sky was clouded and high schoolers were footballin it up (much to my annoyment) and the wind was blowing in the trees and it was..


we left not fifteen minutes in. high schoolers? yeah. i was one once. but HELLO, they ruin the beach. TOE-TOE-ALLY. and i know i just acted like one typing that. forgive, forgive, it rubs off.

but still.

imagine a friday night, nothin to do, just walk on the beach, play football, tackle each other, play flirt, have a great night. i guess i'll never have that again.

hello, folks, i've evolved from teenager, wandering twenty-something, to a woman WOMAN (yikes! not girl!) who knows what she wants.

or, perhaps, could guess? can i play guess? and scrabble? and ... and... life?

LIFE. so i guess i'm playin at LIFE. the big four letter word no one ever wants to face. we go, day to day, in our own lil lives, and never really think what am i DOING here???


i have no flippin idea. no fuckin idea? maybe. let's go there. i have no fucking idea what i'm doing but it feels right, and , in this life where i'm a virgin, not in REAL LIFE c'mon now, ya'll i'm MARRIED, but really? i feel so fresh. so young. and old. how juxtapose.

where am i goin with this?

i went to the beach, and i saw the sky. it was gorgeous, storm impending, and... and...

all i cared about was the fact that i heard the lap of the waves. small as they were. enough for me.

small things, ...

small things encompass larger, and altogether, create larger.

i totally just typed larder at first. wtf? who does that? larder? isn't that cow related?

who else is laughing? anyone? bueller?

life, is, hilarious, frustrating, sad, invigorating, moving, slow-moving, orvill canister moving,

hey, we all need a good vacuum- (shouldn't be watchin' t.v. and bloggin)

my point? i don't have one.

although? bein outside and calm? has totally made my life more manageable. go outside. feel nature.

and now, i'm goin to have a glass of wine. cuz it's freakishly 85 here in illinois, and my air is running, but it's friday, and hello?


a glass of wine? fair trade.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

on why men cannot be trusted to buy the sacred toilet paper.


i mean. really.

and yes. it was a big ol' package of like a kajillion of them.

and yes. they're all individually wrapped.

i told him to take that to his auto body shop, bc really? the fact that i had to WIPE with this? this morning? and had to use half the roll bc it is not fifteen eleven ply?

disclaimer: if you happen to adore scott, more power to ya. my tush? likes charmin. nothing. else.
but really, need i even have SAID anything? i could have just put the picture and the title up, and it would explain everything.

the paper towels that he bought? yeah.

this is like, the creme de la creme of paper towels. for me personally. there is the leetle tiny ones, the medium if you take two, and the regular if you take three.

and the soakage-upage? ohmahgah, the best ever.

but for my, uhm, unmentionables? i guess i score scott. for my granite countertops? only the best.

good to know where i stand.

i am buying charmin after work. amen.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

okay, all right, i get it man, i am totally ignoring my duties!!

okay, so as JustMeMe has pointed out, i am bein a slacker lately. i don't mean to. i mean, i have so many things to post about it's makin me all hazy and then i get scared and hide under the covers and watch house wives of new york. i know. how dare i, right? and not invite ya'll?

so, she tagged me, and since she's been raggin' on me to you know PAY ATTENTION to the world, i'm going to do something she tagged me on. (cuz it may be an easy one.) (i never said that.) (i will take that to my grave.) (fo reals.)

8 Things!!!!!!!

Eight things i am looking forward to:

two. the polynesian at disneyworld
three. meeting baby olivia. yeah, i think my priorites are skewed.... hm.
four. visiting D.C.- always have wanted to go!

-kinda unrelated? i've totally touched the liberty bell. how awesome is THAT? yeah... so i snuck undera red velvet rope. but i touched it. now it's all sealed off. maybe bc of people like me? naaaahhhh. (i was six, yo, gimme a break.)

five. getting mah hair cut!!!
six. not having to come to this work place again after may 8th. yay!!!
seven. seeing vlad tonight, bc he's hitting up sams club and that means toilet paper. we are a sad people when we get busy.
eight. the warm weather heading our way... tho i doubt it'll hit 82 like they said. pfft. but i'll take 70!!

eight things I Did Yesterday:

one. came to work.
two. went to my friends bday party across the parking lot (tres chic i am) for some chicken and pitas.
three. played with my friends neices, who are totally awesome, and their mom deamed me 'old enough to babysit' finally. the girls have been asking FOREVER for me to babysit them and i think she thought that i didn't want to... so i cleared that up pronto.
four. went to bed early, bc i thought house wives of ny was last night but it WASN'T. it's tonight.
five. finished a good book and now i'm totally craving another.
six. went grocery shopping... and i'm going again tonight. sigh.
seven. drank a beer. go me!
eight. geez man eight is rough!!!! okay... er, ate mini pancakes for breakfast. they kinda sucked.

Things I Wish I Could Do:

one. be more outgoing, for sure.
two. run a mile without dying.
three. sing, i've always wanted to sing, but alas, i suck.
four. travel the world for two years... sigh.
five. actually have the cajones to travel the world for two years.
six. be really good at math. i SUCK at math, and it's plagued me my entire life.
seven. still do the splits. without crying.
eight. run a kickass company and be totally one of those wall street career women. (yeah. ain't gonna happen.)

8 Shows I Watch:

-house wives of orange county, ny, nj
-still standing
-will and grace
-prison break
-anything hgtv
-jon and kate plus 8 (guilty addiction. vlad despises this show.)
-george lopez (LOVE!)

okay, and i'm supposed to tag eight people, but, peeps, i'm tired, i only have 10 minutes left before i get to go home (the store first. joy.) and ... doin the link love thang totally rags on this computer. it takes FOREVER and it inputs crazy html that i never ever put in amen. so.

please forgive. and besides. i want EVERYONE to try this out. it's actually pretty tough to figure out eight things without gettin really desperate. and i did. i'll admit it. just sayin.

so, there!

Sunday, April 19, 2009

so,,,, like i was sayin'..........

today is Easter.

for Orthodox Christians.

aka, my russian familia, and i spent the day with blessed candles from the church being lit and lots of cavier wrapped up in blinchiki (basically, a pancake, but it's REALLY thin. you make it by mixing flour and milk and egg and water and it basically just turns into a soft, kinda slick, really flat pancake.), lots of russian raisin cake, and lots,




of russian. it was quite funny. amusing. bc in case you don't know, i. do. not. speak. russian.

no. that's right. you heard it. read it? i do not speak russian. even tho his family (my family?) is now convinced that i should be able to after over four years.... bc they knew this woman who worked with so-and-so's cousin who married a russian and was fluent in three years.

good for her.

so. one funny thing that happened, was when we were all seated, toasting glasses of really juicy wine that had BARELY any alcohol (trust me, i know) and snifters of coignac and vodka and non alcoholic beer (i know, weird), vlad's sister, my sister-in-law, a gal i just love completely, who is also preggo, YAY, her husband was looking all bewildered at the table.

cuz we were speakin english. to, you know, let me in on the joke. see it goes like this: they'll talk up a storm in russian, each person who's speaking over the other getting louder and LOUDER and LOUDER until only one person is talking and then everyone is talking and then laughing and slapping their thigh and shakin their heads and i'm all,

yo? seriously? wassup? cuz i am clueless man. help a girl out.

so then they'll switch to english and tell the whole thing over again.......... and laugh all over again. truly a fun time. so.

instead, this time, they were stuck in english mode bc i was INVOLVED in this conversation and stacy, my sister-in-law-who's-preggo-and-awesome, her husband, who just came from russia like, kid you not, two months ago, is all,

dude, yo, wassup? i do not get it.

so we all laughed. why? bc DUH, hello, we were mirror images of each other. and duh, the two worst people to stick on a stranded island? me and sasha. seriously. (btw, sasha is alex in english. so no. he's not a cross dresser, he's just euro.) and the whole time i'm telling my witty jokes about how the two of us stuck in a room together would be DIZZZASTER and imagine us on an island, 'dude, you want a coconut? what ARE YOU SAYIN?????' he's sitting there, totally clueless.

and we're sitting next to each other.

and i have to say, not sure where i was going when i decided to do this post, but seriously? HIGHlarious. so funny. we're looking at each other, potatoes in the mouth, duck on the fork, blinchikis on the plate, cavier taunting me two inches away, a dead fish eyein me, and i mean EYEING me as in his eyes are IN THERE STILL (they eat them. for good luck. gotta love them russians.) and we're just laughing so hard we're red in the face and you know what?

i may not speak russian, but i DO speak human. and we connected. and isn't that amazing? that two people, from two different parts of the world, can sit at one table, look each other in the eye, and laugh about the same thing without even TALKING to each other? quite a feat, really. fantastic, and truly, made my heart fly right outta my chest. so. cool.

so. i actually, in reality, had a great day. i think it's because

i gave my notice at work on friday. that means, NO MORE WORKING FOR SATAN ANYMORE.

so, that means, when i go to work tomorrow? i don't really care what goes on. i mean, i care about the clients, and the way the work gets done, and i want to do a good job because i am PROUD of what i do and how i do it, but really?

all that drama?

yo, take it to yo mama, i don't want it no mo'. i'm done. finite. and honestly, it is a. great. feeling. to know that i'm embarking (did i spell that right? i'm too lazy for spellcheck. and yet i typed this out. shoot. bygones.) on a new journey in life, a new LIFE so to speak, where i am going to focus on helping MYSELF so that i can HELP OTHERS. and it is a GREAT FEELING.

i'm a caps person, lately, i've discovered. but really? in real life? i pinky promise i don't yell. and yo, i'm still workin on the camera bein' fizzed up and the video being slow bc really, i AM still working, and things are just kinda on the back burner until i get some free time.

after may 8th? watch out ya'll i might just get a lil fiesty and crazy up in this house.

so. right now, i'm just enjoying a night, enjoying the rain, enjoying the calm of my house, enjoying the idea of shedding that horrid, horrid job. i am free. i am free, and i will always be free, and in the words of tori amos,

take to the sky, bitches.

(okay. i added the bitches part. forgive. forgive.)

Friday, April 17, 2009

She's Lump!!!!

yo, if Kate over at She's Lump is reading this, important bulletin, i cannot read your blog and miss you and your pugs and your humor. uh, i need some lump in my life, grrrrrr.

help? halp? please?

on the road again...............

oooooohhhhhh my goodness, what a SLACKER I AM!!!!!!!!!

there are so many things that i want to write about. hair, nails, a new seasoning sauce that was totally mailed to me, FREE, just so that i could try it and review it on here- quitting my job, the new clothes i scored, why i love starbucks even tho it's evil bc it's a chain and has no face, my love of vitamin water, i could go on and on and on and on.................................

and, instead, o yeah, and also my hatred of my camera phone and my phone in general and how i need to get my ass to a best buy (lunch today? probably will hit it up) to buy a thangy that will let me be able to use my chippy thing in my camera so that i can put it directly into le laptop (yeah it's male. his name is billy bob. deal with it.) so that i can upload PICTURES of la adobe and show ya'll what i've done with this shack and.. and..

where was i?

oh yeah, i have no idea where this post is going only that i meant to get SOMETHIN up here. oh yeah, and a skinny hazelnut latte from starbucks? pure frickin genius, yo.

so the next few months, summer really, will be spent trying to reaquant myself with ME. Lauren. Lo. who i am. who i want to be. who this hunka body is supposed to be. get healthy. get energized. be EXCITED for life, and not just SURVIVING.

i can't tell you enough about how craptastic my job is. basically, not to bore ya'll, but i just work a mundane job. over and over the drama is high and ridiculous, the stories i could tell... basically, one psycho, crazy, cracked out bitch i work with makes life hell for everyone. and i'm done. i wash my hands after over three years of back breaking work, with no recognition... not even one, hey, yo, good job. oh, this is the same woman who i invited to my wedding (had to) and she actually never once said hello. nor did she congratulate. nor did she look in my direction. bitch drank my liquor and ate my damn steak but never once said hello or thank you or hey go eff yourself or congrats. rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

anyway. enough. i wash my hands. did i say that already? i think i've developed raw hand syndrome from all the washin i've been doing lately.

so. what else is there to write about? what else is there to me beyond this crappy existence i've sustained for three years? what is there after i shuck the crap off of myself and declare myself nekked and free? happy? carefree? scared shitless?

there's love,
a need to help others,
a fear greater than life itself that i will screw it all up,
a need to just jump in headfirst even if it's a cement bottom pond,
sleeping late is great,
and i can do it again,
i don't understand my 401k and yo thanks mom for helping me 'roll it over' into an IRA,
what does that MEAN in real people talk,
i love shoes,
i'd really like to be a hot shot lawyer or somethin but i don't think i could deal with the headaches,
i think i'd love to love quiche but i've never tried it and i'm scared,
made kick ass pasta last night and no idea how i did it,
want to take cooking classes,
yoga? anyone?
or maybe pilates, tai chi,
holistic healing courses,
i really do love yoga pants tho,
i hate pleated dress pants,
i really really do, they're so totally 80's,
if i don't have a bottle of water i know not what to do with myself,
i really love tinker bell but i love tigger just as much, but really, i love dumbo,
i need to start working out but again? maybe yoga or pilates will work instead of hardcore strength training,
i really don't want to give up pizza, so i won't,
i think i kind of suck at grilling but so does vlad, so it's okay,
i hate purple,
i really want coach sneakers and yet refuse to shell out the cash for them,
i want to do more stuff outside but have no idea where to go,
i want to hit up the beach tonight, just walk and relax on a blanket but vlad is iffy,
i'll stuff him in the trunk if he refuses to go,
don't tell the police that,

where am i going with this? oh lordy this is what happens when you inject starbucks at 8.30am. and your name is lauren. and you have blonde hair. and chipped toenail polish. that's right. i'm honest. i'll tell ya. i also haven't shaved my armpits in a week. eep. i think i should get on that. i also need to cut my hair. must. make. appointment.

eeeeeep must shave before obgyn tomorrow!!! ack!

okay, tmi. where was i going? where am i going? good question. where am i going?

Sunday, April 12, 2009

sunday funday easter

one thing about condo livin, in a thirty-something year old building, is during the winter? it is HOT. dear lordy..... our condo is pint-sized (i like it that way, less to clean haha!) and so ultimately, the only 'windows' we have would be one in the bedroom, and then the sliding glass doors in the living room. which is open as wide as humanly (doorly?) possible. i type this entry with a tomato face, a glass of wine, and cold noodles romanoff that my mom made for easter today.

yeah. uh, the only thing i regret would possibly be the twenty eleven pounds of noodles i ate today. but bygones. i have a month before anyone sees me in a bikini. shudder.

so how was everyones easter? uneventful? jam-packed? church? cook out? bbq? eight course meal? wine? kool aid? just curious. mine was spent first at my parents condo in the city, which is right on the lake and BRRRRR it is COLD by the lake. lake michigan can pack a punch even in april. so my mom cooked her butt off and we had a great meal. my grandma, two uncles, one uncles wife whom i just adore, and of course my parents. and vlad. and the cats. but one cat was missing. we're still trying to figure that out since Larry, who used to be Lola, until his (ahem) unmentionables descended when he was a kitten, is now too fat to fit into the small alcove under the cabinets in the kitchen. hm. should probably ask if she found him yet. anyway.

so we ate, stuffed ourselves, drank mimosa's, and watched deadliest catch, episode after episode. and hello, if you know not what i speak of GOOGLE IT my child, it is a great show. so super scary and crabs kinda freak me out now, except for the kind that come shell-less and laid out nicely on a platter with a lil candle underneath a small ramekin containing liquid butter. then, my friends, crab is A OKAY in my book. yep.

but the show is uber cool. huge waves. yikes. anyway.

so, .... oh yeah. so i had a great time but being so exhausted i was the first to leave- i hate when that happens! so i collected all the cool stuff my mom gave me for easter, you know, an awesome book, two pairs of obnoxious but glorious socks (i'm somewhat of a sock freak... more on that later), some salt from this salt cave she went to but upon further thought i do believe i left that there.... hm. that sucks. some jelly beans, etc, classic easter loot. and a candelabra from my wedding (they were the centerpieces, i found them stashed in their bedroom, i took. at least i told her i took.) and now it sits on a side table/side bar in the dining room. i like.

then we high-tailed it back home and went across the parking lot (glamerous lot, aren't we?) and hung out with our super good friends who happen to be neighbors (score) and their families. but. seeing as i am so exhausted, can barely keep my eyes open, fell asleep in the car, i decided a glass of wine and the couch sounded much better. plus, i'm not good company, anyway. i mean really. what am i doing? i'm basically talking to myself ABOUT myself. pfft. no fun indeed. i told vlad to stay, have some fun, socialize, and i can have some peace and quiet and personal time too. bc i need that once in a while. i'm an only child. we welcome solitude. especially if it offers wine.

so. that was my day. i woke up extra late, ate breakfast in bed and watched t.v..... an old ryan reynolds movie. who else adores him??????? he is gorgeous AND hilarious. hellllooooo, package deal. i love dane cook too. oh and stiffler. i can never remember his name but he has a new movie out, role models, ya'll should check it out. hi-larious.

i have no idea where i started with this entry. i'm still hot as hell and i'm still eating cold noodles. wow i'm classy. now i'm going to park it on the couch with a book and read until i can't read anymore and then watch a little quiet t.v. and then go to bed. i know. i'm such a partier it's quite frightening.

in other news, how the hell do you post videos on blogger????? my camera records videos and i think it'd be fun if ya'll could ask me questions and then i'd answer them, in video, so you can see that i really do exist and all. tho, don't hold it against me if your ears start to bleed and your toes fall off. who knows how annoying i am in video format!!!!!

happy Easter guys. i hope it was spent with lots of family, food, fun and love :)

Saturday, April 11, 2009


...watching a league of their own on oxygen right now, and lordy be, i forgot how much i love this movie. I. LOVE. THIS. MOVIE. good cake in heaven i love this movie. madonna? yeah. i saw evita. and i still think she's a good actress. even tho, lately, her face lift scares me.

but i'm crying. good god, it is SAD. the part where the telegram comes????? eep. this movie is so full of integrity i just.. i love it.

"i thought you were a ball player"

"you thought wrong. it's just a game."

phew! and the part that really broke me down? when her husband comes back from the war while she's sobbing alone in her room thinking he's dead or god knows and he walks in and they embrace and she says,

"can we just hold each other for the rest of our lives?"

and her husband goes,

"that's my plan."

also? when she's leaving the league and jimmy says, "why are you leaving?"

and Dottie says, "it just got too hard."

and he says something about how that's the point. the heart is in what's hard. or. something. i'm paraphrasing bc i don't remember exactly.

also? i am being drugged by the scent of cake in my house. i found cake-in-the-box on sale for a dollar (one dollar!!!!) and then a coupon for .50 cents off frosting and cut to me two hours later, and i have classic yellow cake cooling on the counter in a classic 13x9 metal pan. oh, the scent and the sight of it bring me right back to childhood.

i don't care what people say. box cake? is like blood in my veins. i miss it when it's gone.

er, somethin like that. yum. c'mon over and we'll watch afternoon movies on t.v. and eat cake :)

i've been a slacker, yeah, i get it, i really super do

so i've totally slacked off on my duties as a bloggess. i apologize. i lament. i pray that ya'll forgive me. i say, to the heavens, i know not what i do and yet, alas, i do, and.... i'm sorry. apologies abound over here. it's just, well, i work in the accounting field and lord knows it's hectic right now.

oh, you ask, how hectic?

hectic enough that you're sittin at work, BLOGGING, on a saturday morning, with no work to do??? how could it be??? how so??? is it even POSSIBLE?

yeah. so. my work is basically one soap opera episode over and over and over again. it's ridiculous, full of drama, etc, all bc of one person. so. i sit here, have sat here, since 8am, and logged out returns and basically numbed my mind with a Stouffers pita chicken broccoli flatbread thang and cups and cups of green tea bc the coffee here? yeah. acid. i really have not that much work to do but it's astounding how drama can make you feel SO. DAMN. TIRED.

so. i thought i would update, and say, hey, i know i suck, but, i'm tryin over here, and i'm outta this gig once May hits, but for right now? until wednesday? yeah. it sucks. i have heartburn. where are my tums? things are stressful. i'm irritated as all getout and more often than not (daily) i come home, shed my clothes, don the sweats, and go, damn yo where's my wine? and have a glass. all the while trying to unwind the crap that goes on in my day from my brain.

my real life has been put on hold for a bit, bc of the drama i endure for nine hours a day.

i do not mean to unload here, it's just, well, i'm sure y'all have had a job that just. plain. sucks. and you've wanted to leave but for whatever reason couldn't. and right now, i can't bail in the last tail of tax season, so i'm here, and i'm so tired i swear to you, in another thirty seconds you might just find me curled in the fetal position in the file room next to the 1120's. just sayin'.

so tonight i convinced Vlad to go to Big Bowl with me, and if you've yet to visit one, dear lord in heaven and white lambs and fluffy clouds, you MUST GO NOW DROP EVERYTHING bc it is pure heaven. their lemonade is bomb ass too. i get the pad thai. i think tonight i might just get frisky and order the stir fry. then we're going to see the new fast n furious and in all honesty i've got no clue which sequal this one is, i think four, all i know is i get to watch fast cars and paul walker, amen.

then home. home, home, home, to my bed, to mindless t.v. like property virgins and house hunters on hgtv and then sleep and then sleepin in, THANK GOD, and then easter dinner but really lunch at 2pm at my parents house and then blissful couch time. sounds like a deal to me.

so where was i? oh. yeah. i'm a slacker. i've got like, a tag thang i need to do, want to do, must do ohmygoodnessmustdo and then ....... pictures, i think, of my house ,plus a floorplan and damn, i've totally been slackin. apologies, but taxes? suck.

yeah. that's right. there is only one word for tax season.


Monday, April 6, 2009

a lil somethin' somethin': Manic Monday

How often do you change your toothbrush?

this is totally embarassing but in all honesty i probably don't change it as much as i SHOULD, i mostly change it when it occurs to me that the battery is goin' dead on my electric sonic toothbrush and holy hell i have no batteries in the house and then after a week of trying to brush sans battery, i slosh to the store to buy some and lo and behold think, well, hot damn, i should probably switch the head out on the brush as well. why not. kill two birds and all that. honestly, it's not the main worry in my life. i can manual brush with an old brush head for about a month longer than i should without batting an eye. yeah. i'm tough like that.

What is your favorite item of clothing to shop for?

hmmmm..... probably.... shoes. and handbags. bc it means i don't have to get nekked to buy them. i have this strange obsession with designer sunglasses, too, and for the life of me i cannot break it. i have tried. right now the flavor of the month are a pair of christian dior i scooped up on sale at nordstrom. and no. i will not tell you how much they cost or why in EARTH i thought it wise to spend it on sunglasses, of all things. i know not what i do. or. something.

Do you use social media (Twitter, Facebook, etc.)? Which do you use most often?

i facebook more than i twitter. even tho i enjoy twitter more. i guess i just get tired of waiting for more twits to come thru. tweets? twits? sigh. see? this is why. facebook, moreso bc i like to read the snarky ass comments my friends leave for each other. and i get to spy on people. bc anyone will friend you, you know. i got friend requests from people i hadn't seen in two years. but i totally know they got toasty last weekend bc i have the photo of them holdin' a bottle of hard liquor and doin the peace sign. cuz i stalk on facebook.

maybe i shouldn't exactly tell everyone that.

i also despise myspace with a passion only rivaled by my detest for saurkraut, slow drivers and the line at the post office after work when i'm NOT getting paid all because they put the two asian ladies on the same shift and holy hell, they are the slowest women EVER to grace the USPS institution. they are no kevin costner in 'the postman', lemme tell ya.

manic mondays, catch it over-------> here!

Friday, April 3, 2009

keep that chin up

'i am not afraid of tomorrow, for i have seen yesterday, and i love today.'

-William Allen White

Thursday, April 2, 2009

say goodbye to snarky ass girl. at least, for today. or. this hour.

i woke up, annoyed, irritated, shushing Vlad's alarm clock bc honestly... it does not need to fog horn me outta sleep... coverin my head with my pillow and altogether cursing time and the fact that i may or may not have fallen asleep a tad late last night watching Seven Pounds and now i'll have to watch it AGAIN tonight bc in my half-asleep state i totally didn't understand it. Will Smith, tho, totally rocks my socks, he's soooo amazing. but dude likes him some tubs. he sleeps in the tub in this film and he slept in the tub in that weird sci fi vamp-like movie too. with the dog. bygones.

where was i? oh yeah. things that bring me joy. cuz ya know, i'm sick n tired of always harping on the bad crap in my life. it's there. yeah. i get it. DUDE. i get it. i'm just, eh, call it Thursdayitis, but... i just need some perking, some fluffing, some padding over here.

and i'm not going to get deep. this is purely, shallow, light-hearted BRING IT ON, joy, sorta talk.

chocolate cake.
makin' a GREAT dinner, randomly, without a recipe, for Vlad and he loves it so much he asks me to make it again and even tho it makes me break out in hives bc i cannot-for-the-life-of-me remember how i made it, i still grin and think, HA bitches, i CAN cook!
a great movie, my couch, and a glass of wine. recipe of divinity.
walking on the beach barefoot in sarasota. no better feeling.
a great hair day.
finding a great black sweater on sale. even tho i have fifty kajillion already.
having my nails painted.
sunday morning mexican omelet, with cholula.
havin a clean house.
driving vlad's car on the highway. it is fast, yo.
spending a night surrounded by friends and feeling like you BELONG.
cherry blossom trees in bloom. shut up if that's nto what they're officially called. i like em.
BOATING. (with a drink in hand.)
computer games. shut up. i love me some nancy drew.
buying something, anything on sale.
rare steak. mmmmmmm.
hotels. i adore, just adore, hotels.
swimming, tanning, boating. did i say boating? well. boating.

what else? i'm racking my brain now, so i think i'll stop. it's a lil intense for 8.57am. but these small things bring me joy. when Vlad comes home with a jumbo king-size kit kat, it brings me joy. when i get mailed those packs of the savings things? like, the 'jumbo huge savings deals of your life' envelope? even tho i never use ANY of them? yeah. i LOVE going thru them all. and floor plans. i love looking at floor plans, oh, and also going to see model homes. and model rv's. i know. i'm weird.

little things bring me joy. i just need to keep my head in the game and focus on what makes me happy, instead of what vile insipid crap that goes on at my work that taints my mood when i'm home. i hate that. i know a ton of you are like 'ya ya, your job isn't bad, you make decent money and at least you have healthcare and HAVE a job' and i know that. i know. i know i know i know. but good god, people, ........ i can't seem to explain it except that it. is. toxic. i swear if i stayed here another year i'd be suicidal. it's just THAT BAD. so.

it brings me joy to know i'll never have to step foot in here again after may 8th.

ya know what? that makes me flippin ECSTATIC. like, ice cream for breakfast, ecstatic.

what brings you joy? what pulls you through the day? what makes you get outta bed in the morning when all you want to do is sleep for forty hundred years and then walk around in your pajamas for another ten and hide in the couch with your cat and who cares if the spoons covered in ice cream leave rings on the coffee table? you never liked it in the first place. what makes you tackle your day?

what helps you to stay human, and not turn into a frothing-at-the-mouth wildabeast who beats down anyone who comes near you? (don't lie. you've totally felt that way. no shame, friend, no shame.)

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

lies, lies, i tell you

yeah, i apologize, i hang my head in shame, for i have lied.

i did not post pictures. nor, did i even go to best buy to get the thingymajig that would let me be ABLE to put pictures here.

i did not post my home floor plan. forgive. forgive.

you see, much bigger things have taken over for me.

as in.......... GROWTH things. as in.................................................

i'm pregnant.

APRIL FOOLS, SUCKAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bwahahahahahahahahaha. if that even worked on you, which i'm sure it didn't. but. soooo funny for me. :)

anyway, seriously tho, things are always hectic at the beginning of a week and shame on me for making empty promises on a saturday. work sort of bombs on me and then starts to slowly let me recover about thursday and then bombs on saturday and then sunday is like a gift.

then i get bombed all over again. vicious cycle.

i can now officially say that my huge wonderful trip to disney with my mom is next month. YESSSSSSSS!!!!!

my homegirl did my hair on sunday and i swear, new hair just lifts my spirits. i feel alive again. tons of highlights and she trimmed five inches off. and it's still well below my shoulders. i think it was overdue for a cut, don't you? it looks fab, i love it, hug it and kiss it and i feel so much better already.

now i need a tan. hm. i should do that tonight. anyways,

tonight my mom and i are switching cars, hers needs to be worked on, so she's going to drive mine (which is really hers, long story) and i'll drive hers home. then tomorrow morning vlad takes her car and i take his car and then Thursday he brings her car home and then i drive her car Friday morning and after work we do the switcheroo again.

we play musical cars. i can't help it. but, i do find it fun. who doesn't like driving a new car every day??????!!!???

we're also going to go to dinner. i think i may just want to go to p.f. changs bc i just ADORE IT OH MAH GAWD. kung pao, you are the lover of my soul amen.

what else. hm. nothing else is goin' on. i may or may not tan on my way home after dinner with moms and then after that vlad and i have a movie night in bed. i rented seven pounds, and slumdog millionaire and some cheesy action movie called columbus day. i like the cheese. it's necessary sometimes. like the movie the core. lord, how i love that movie.

in about twenty i'm popping out (ahem, RUNNING FOR MY LIFE before they give me more work to do) and picking up the three movies i rented from redbox then swingin' over to subway. today calls for a club, yo, with all the trimmings.

cheese. lettuce. tomatoes. EXTRA pickles. mayo. mustard. oil and vinegar. spices. hot peppers.

but no onions. phew. no onions.

i'm so hungry. and yet i ate a southwestern salad from mcd's for breakfast around 9am. i know. i know. i eat 'real food' for breakfast. and breakfast food for dinner. i'm ass backwards that way.

and that's the end. i have nothin' clever. except. i lied. i lied. forgive. forgive. k thanks :)