Wednesday, December 31, 2008

medicated but not loopy. promise.

oh holy hell i just read the last post i, er, well posted, and holy hell!!!

i was SOOOOOOOO uber loopy!!!! jeeeez louise. and no, Linda, i was not at work, i was at home. i posted around 7pm! it wasn't the medicine persay it was moreso my fever.

cuz this happens every. single. time. i get sick. i'm a fever person. as in, i get even a teeny tiny cold or even a sinus infection and BLAM i'm down for the count cuz Lo has a fever. it sucks. it also makes for some pretty interesting conversations with me. heh. as you can tell. jeez. that post was a doozy!!!!

hm. so. i sort of don't have a whole lotta schtuff to say bc well, i'm at home. i took vacation time for today and friday and thank gawd i did bc i am flat on my butt, sick.

as in, i would take a picture but it COULD be used for blackmail at a later date.

my hair is all over the place, my face is puffy and flushed, my eyes look like they're half swollen shut bc of puffiness, my eyes are glazed, i keep sneezing like i WANT to get snot all over my pants and WANT to almost fall-but-not-quite bc it's such a strong sneeze, i'm wearing pink mickey and minnie pajamas, and ... and.....

i was supposed to go to a new years eve party tonight. (ugh. i just sneezed. again. bless you, Puffs Plus with lotion. bless your moisturizing heart.) and i don't know if i should go. now before all of you scroll madly to the comments section and tell me


let me tell you it's a low key night. it's at my friends sisters house, and while there will be a lot of people there, i CAN sit on the sofa or in a chair for the entire night. that's not the part that is worrying me.

it's the part about stayin' up past midnight. and also? we originally planned to stay at my friends house (who's sister is having the party) and sleep on their couch. they have this massive L-shaped couch that is ... i dunno, suede? microsuede? and it is soooo comfy.

but i don't want to wake up early tomorrow. and they probably will. and i don't want to go out to breakfast with them. (wow. i'm a great friend, huh?) i just want to wake up in my own bed and stick to the sofa all day on new years. which won't be possible. and no way in hell am i gonna be the one to drive 45 minutes back home, at 2am, ill, with a drunk husband. will. not. do. it.

the other option is to stay home. which yes. i know. is the best option. but you don't understand. my husband is so super duper excited about tonight, and when i told him i may not be able to go, he said he wouldn't go either. he doesn't want to leave me alone on new years.

but that means that i'm ruining his big night that he was super duper with glitter and ice cream excited for.

what do i do? sigh.

oh and if i ever get the patience to download some pics to flickr, you'll just DIE at how weird my cat is. she has this love of my shoes. especially shoes i wear to work (i think bc i wear my heels barefoot, and so the shoes really have my scent? or somethin?) but she made sweet, sweet love to my bandolino heels last night. heh.

hm. just had a thought. perhaps if i do my research i could find a hotel near my friends sisters house... and we could take a cab or get dropped off or even drive and leave early. hm.

anyway. yeah. i'm SO super exciting aren't i? hehehehe. but at least i'm not LOOPY anymore!!!!

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

hateokay. so i may or may not be blogging right now. forgive typos. i know not whati do. and yet. it's called logging while sick.

i am on meds. do not worry. also? i feel loopy. ooooohhhhhh lawdy this is loopy.

ahem. and more ahemmm. memmm. me.m. mem.


i have many a pictures for ya, oumuzzzzz yah,which i guess means, amm. or uhmzz. you.

and notice their lackin presense. pretense. someone, PLEASE, give me a cold remedy that does not cause total lose of spelling.

seriously. cold medicine? and me? do not mix.... er, count this post in. dude. cuz i?

LOVE. CAPS. and the space bar. but i TOTALLY hate, hate, the uhm...

oh yeah. i love space bar.

and again.

totally although ahem hehehe LOVE the fact i just typled... ahem....

maybe me? and cold meds don't mix. or zythromyza-WHATVERAH-sin don't mix. erm.

i'm goin' to post this. and again, in the morsnin, yeah, i said MORSNIN, cuz i mistyped and all, and i LURVED the way it sounded- anyway, i am goin uhm is that a word? i'm fading. i'm sorry. blame it on the meds. my dr.dorky prescribed to me. more on that later.

do i make ANY sense? aw, lawsy, i done made mah self a lunatic.

anyway. i am so okay, don't worry just strep throat. i cannot, ever, take meds. they make me super dooper lupy. or like, lupy duky supy, or somethin like that. dang ya'll, i think i'm done in.

all in a days work.

(did i say that right?)


so i've been saving up some ammunition for posting, thinkin' up all kinds of good topics to go over and mulling them over in my mind. mulling makes me think of apple cider. weird? probably.

anyway. i'm totally sick. dog sick. woman cold yucky snot i-sound-like-a-man sick. and where am i, you ask?

at work. yeah. i'm. at. work. sick. dog. sick. because. they. will. not. let. me. go. home.

yeah. that's all i got to say on that, bc i know myself and i will go on an all-out festival about it. so i'm not gonna say no more. not one thing. nope. (my boss is satan.) ahem.

i'm going to the doctor at 2.30 today, and i'm going to get tested for strep, and if it's not strep i'm going to dig my feet in the sand and refuse to leave there until they give me a zpack.

and if you don't know what a zpack is? oh, lordy, it is god when it comes to bein' sick but not knowin' what yer sick with. i'm all hopped up on sudafed which, by the way, did you know you need to see the pharmacist for sudafed? jeez lou-eezz. never knew that. my husband about had a spaz attack last night at the grocery store tryin' to track down sudafed for me. and he didn't get generic. if that ain't love, i don't know what is.

where was i? ahem. forgive me. i am kinda (a lot super duper) spacey right now. as in, i probably shouldn't drive my car. i think the only reason i haven't fallen fast first into my keyboard in a coma is bc of the sudafed. is that what they make meth out of? i don't know. i'm ignorant in all things meth. sorry. forgive me.

oh yeah. zpack. anyway. best. stuff .ever. you take one pill for 5 days and by day 2 you feel normal again. but trust me. take all 5 pills. cuz whatever it is you have, it WILL come back if you don't take the full run of the drug.

i dont' usually take drugs. i mean. not pharmaceuticals. only when i'm so sick i know i can't get better without drugs. oh and my thyroid medicine. did you know i had an underactive one? slacker. ahem. yeah. yep. i do. did. now i take medicine for it. and it made me not so tired anymore. props to the synthroid.

er. is this tmi? or not? i mean. it IS a blog and all. but. i dunno. maybe i should stop now?

someone please put me out of my misery. and give me designer kleenex. cuz this 'members mark unscented facial tissue white-2 ply' is NOT CUTTING IT.

Friday, December 26, 2008

uhm, er, where was i goin' with this post?

well i thought about not posting right now, bc i have been in the worst. mood. ev-ah today, but then i realized i've been super lazy and i didn't post yesterday, either.

bad Lo!

so. as i sit here i'm eating a stouffers philly cheese panini, contemplating what exciting topic i can go on and on and on about and folks, i've got nuthin.

except: i'm moving next week. yep, me, that's me, the smart girl who decided LETS MOVE DURING NEW YEARS. cuz what else goes better with a raging hangover than PACKING???

don't worry. don't flip out. don't let yer knickers get all twisted. i'm only moving about 40 minutes closer to the city. i'm not leaving Illinois! i'm just 'downsizing' from a huge townhouse that proved to be TOO much for us into a one-bedroom modest condo with gally kitchen in a suburb much closer to our friends (ahem. across the parking lot. yeah. they totally live in the same condo development) and much closer to family and most importantly much closer to the big bad city. but i'm not ready to take her on yet. not just yet. i need some more parrellel parking experience before i open THAT can-o-worms.

so i will be taking pictures (with my REAL camera, not my fake-out cell phone camera that's for lazy people like megot kinda bad quality.) and you'll be right there with me, on the front lines, as i go about my moving.

we're buying a laptop tomorrow. how exciting is THAT??? huh? huh? TELL ME PUNK!!!! HOW EXCITED ARE YOU!!!!!???????????!?!?!?!!?

ahem. sorry. obviously someone is excited around here. wonder who THAT weirdo is.

so my question is, all of ya'll that have laptops- which one do you have? do you lurve it like i lurve mah steaks? specifically filet mignon medium rare but more towards the rare side? do you hate it like i hate sauerkraut? does anyone know of a great (affordable) laptop that i should look into? i was thinkin HP. but that's just cuz honestly i know next to zilch about computers and usually my method of buying one consists of me determining which one is super shiny and pretty and that's what i buy.

halp! halp me! i am so terrible at buying computers! i want a nice shiny laptop that also works as good as it looks. i want to look at my girl and say, damn girl, you're the complete package. brains AND beauty. sigh. how did i ever get so lucky? let me show you how much i love you by taking you out for a nice steak dinner. specifically filet mignon medium rare but more towards the rare side. you know, warm but bloody.

and yeah. that's how i order my steak when i go to eat out. i actually say, 'warm but bloody.' heh.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

i'm a workin' girl.

guess where i am. yep. at work. it sucks. the big monster toe. (ew. gross image.) but yet i'm still here. very tired. very scrooge. very snarky. i'm still wearin' my knock-off uggs right now. yeah. at 10.12am. at work. i'm wearin' snow boots. you wanna know why?

THIS IS WHY. it is snooooowwwwyyy outside. and these pictures, dissapointingly, do not even portray the extent of it. up north by my house it's triple worse. i'm going to take some photos with a real camera over tonight and tomorrow. tomorrow i'm goin' sleddin'. YAY. i haven't done that since i was super young... back when i lived in pennsylvania. see that in the far distance? that's a huge massive dumpster for our offices. and see that snow pile? yeah. it's like, eleven feet high. CRAZY.

behold the magic of snow accumulation. this is a lot. that is a window. to an office. i'm standing in the parking lot outside of my office 'suite'. yeah. look at that. that's nuts!!

this is the parking lot, of you can believe that. to the right would be where you would walk to my office. do you SEE that snow? crazy. i am so tired, i have HUGE bags under my eyes so please pardon the lack of self portraits. that, and a car that i don't know started to drive slowly into the parking lot and that person totally saw me standing in the snow, with no jacket, taking pictures of myself.
yah. not exactly the most sane image ever. and then i ran off. uhm. excuse me while i hide in embarrassment bc i'm such a spaz.
merry christmas eve, everyone :)

Monday, December 22, 2008

omgoodness ohmahgoodness i got a GIFT FROM A BLOGGER. and it is. awesome.

SO!!!!!! the other day, or maybe last week, or whenever, a ridiculously short amount of time for me to try to do ANYTHING crafty, like oh say makin' a gift for someone and then sending it to them so when they get to work monday they go SQUEEEE i got a present!!!!

from a person i've never met!!!!

and yet am totally in love with and read her blog all the time and yeah so that totally makes me a legit friend!

nanner nanner!

ahem. okay. movin' right along here folks. much to see. much to see.

Linda, lovely luminous Linda, over at Fat Cat Crochet did a wonderful thing for me. it makes me curl up my shoulders and close my eyes and go 'mmmmmm'.

she knit me. .. or... or did she crochet me?? (oh lordy i just realized that i was spelling 'crochet' as 'crotchet' and somehow i don't think she knit me onea THOSE so. ahem. spell check. thank you.) or .. or did she sautee me??? lord knows. but it did produce my now most favorite thing in the world:

okay excuse the bathroom shot it's got the best lighting. and yeah. so i could've been a grownp and worn real clothes, not my wonky pajamas that never match. and yeah. i could've been a grownup again and used my REAL camera instead of my camera on my PHONE but that requires like a lot of sittin' around while blogger DOWNLOADS the photos and i know ya'll want pics STAT so sheesh guys i'm tryin' ta do ya a FAVOR HERE. you're welcome. :)
anyway. LOOK AT THIS THING. it is sooooooooooooo super soft. i mean c'mon now, so soft i'm WEARING IT AS I TYPE. no joke. seriously. it is warm and soft and LONG and i love how long it is, i can wrap three times, and it's so delicous and wonderful and i love it so much but i think i love Linda more (and not just cuz she's my dealersupplier of all things scarfy) cuz she is such a wonderful person and she rocks and honestly, her talent? girlfriend, she has got TALENT. i am tellin' ya. amazing. they sell things like this for crazy money out here!

do you tie it in a knot? or tie it in a bow? oh btw, do yer ears hang super duper low? no? k. just checkin'.

HI LINDA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! look at me!!!!! i'm wearing your scarf as i blog!! now how cool is THIS GIRL? dang i'm the super shizzzz. er. you are. cuz you gifted me with such an amazing thing. KINDNESS. thank you ever so much for sending this to me. it means more than i could possibly ever say, and you and i know i can talk a storm up and then some. thank you so much. seriously, ya'll, it is gorgeous and if i took a decent picture, i could show you just how detailed and PERFECT it is. seriously, my best friend who works with me (no seriously she is mah girl. love her.) were looking at it tonight at work, and goodness, the stitches are perfection. i haven't seen knitting(crocheting?)this good in a LONG time. reminds me of my gramma. :) thank you so, so much Linda!!!!

oh and to let all of ya'll know that this scarf was just in time...... this? was about a week ago. and in no way reflects the current state of affairs. bc right now? if i were you know not lazyinsane and decided to go out in NEGATIVE TWO DEGREE WEATHER, i would so show you guys. but. ain't gonna happen. sorry. i love ya, but i don't love ya frostbite-love ya.

oh and that? yes, say hello to mr. garbage can. that the mr. garbage can people so graciously tossed aside, pre-snowstorm, and just let hang out like that. my poor husband had to put on my boots and go after that thing. after the snow piled up double what it was when i took this pic. INSANE. hello, mother nature? (tap. taptap.) seriously? could you tone it down a lil? and also, tomorrow? that 3-5 inches that'll probably be like 6 for me since i live practically in Wisconsin and not Illinois? i would soooooooooooooo not tell on you if it was only one inch. mmmk thanks.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Third part, the end, fin, that's all i done did wrote.

so on to the last two questions. of the meme. that i did. cuz i thought. just maybe. someone. somewhere. would want to know what my favorite disney character is. (don't got one. i love them all. lady and the tramp. little mermaid. goofy. winnie. tinker bell. malificent. i love them all) what my favorite socks are. (white thick super thick athletic hanes. yummm.) which side of the bed i sleep on. (right. near the window. away from the door. cuz if there's an intruder i kindly let my husband be the hero. so i'm the last the scary robber gets to. ahem.)

so. Lump asked me these lovely little questions- and hello, Lump? uh, er... are you like RELATED to me? cuz based on these questions? you know me kinda sorta really well.

do you pick your nose in the car? am i supposed to be honest here? i am? really? oh, okay then. um. please turn your eyes away if you're squeemish. just skip past this part to the end. k? come back over tomorrow. k thanks.

uh, yeah. sometimes. i do. BUT I ALWAYS HAVE A TISSUE when i do. and it's at night when no one can see me. and. and. uhm. OH LORDY i'm sorry. i know not what i do when i have the bogger the size of miami in my nostril. some things you just hafta take care of.

do you shower after you take a bath? uh, i never take baths. NEVER. not unless the bathtub is brand new and i put it in myself and scrubbed it. i have a phobia of bathtubs. seriously. EEEWWW. bathing in my own vat of filth? no. thanks. bob. if i do take a bath i always shower off after. i had an incident when i was eight or so when we lived in chicago (the first time) and we had a centipede problem. cut to me jumping into a bathtub that a whole gang of centipede parts decided to chill in. yeah. THAT made me into a shower person and i never looked back.

if you could eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be? hmm.... like one particular DISH or one TYPE of food? cuz i would say mexican. if i had cholula sauce. i would eat just about ANYTHING with cholula sauce. also? durrrr. STEAK mah friend. steak. ah. filet mignon, you scantily clad vixen, how i love thee.

Country Girl asked me these... and they were probably one of the hardest ones to answer. took me the longest to answer, too. (cracking knuckles) here i go, friends.

1. what is your biggest regret in life? not being more confident. i think i let the chance to be something super great pass me by when i was a teenager. i was in california and i had the chance to be something and instead, i was too flippin scared to be my own person and to stand out bc i thought people would laugh at me. and i realize now, i could care less what those people would think. so now i have to work double hard to make up for my lack of confidence in myself when i was younger. having confidence and believing in myself are the hardest things i've ever had to do.

2. If you had a million dollars, what would you do? hm. i would LIKE to say that i would donate it all. hah! but we all know that i'm too selfish to do that. i would probably quit my job, buy my parents a modest house, pay off the inlaws house, buy a condo for Vlad and i downtown, put 100,000 into charity, probably an AIDS project in third world countries or education for children in third world countries, i'd go to Russia for a few months, and then i'd try my socks off to be a cop. a real cop. i really would. and if there was anything left over, i would pay off our cars, my parents cars, the in laws cars, and then put the rest into a sort of hedge fund.

wow, look how grown up i am!!!! oh, and, uh, (ahem) totally a new wardrobe. just sayin'. cuz i love me some marc jacobs.

would a million even GET me all that nowadays? i think i'd settle on making sure my immediate family was taken care of and that my mom and i could go to disney and i could do what i really want to do. nuff said. :) oh and charity. of course. :)

3. who do you admire? hmmmm. who do i admire. well. LOADS of people. including YOU, CG!!! i admire marchelle, linda, of course Ryan bc he totally rocks the socks off all of us, i admire everyone on my blogroll. seriously. otherwise, they wouldn't be there. most and foremost i admire my mom, bc she has sacrificed so much for me so that i would be able to have a slice of happiness. she really and truly is such a good mother but most of all my best friend and that's sayin' a lot. i admire her confidence and ability to be so strong and no matter what pushes her down she gets right back up. oh, sure, she's super snarky and sarcastic but hellloooo she's my mother, and based on me? she'd HAVE to have some spunk in her. i admire my grandfather rest his soul, for being such a typical italian white collar guy with a heart of gold. i regret that i never had a chance to know him. i DUH of course admire mother teresa, and i admire meryl streep. she rocks. and.... uh... hm. i think that's it. but a lot of people touch my heart daily and i admire and love each and every one of them for the good they do. especially my starbucks girl who hooks me up with extra espresso shots. i definitely admire her. :)

4. When you are gone if someone could pass on 5 words about you...what would you want those 5 words to be? "she tried her best, damnit!" heh. those are the first i came up with.

this is hard.

when i'm gone, .... when i'm gone i don't want anyone to stand around and cry for me. i don't want anyone to be sad, and lament my passing and feel that it was unfair, or unjust, that i left. souls leave. that's the one thing you can count on in this life, that you're going to die. sorry to be morbid, but it's true. our bodies are little carriers for our gentle and important souls, and i know that this body will give out on me eventually. when i'm gone, i want people to look back on my life and say, wow. what a beautiful person. i am SO glad i had the chance to know her. and then iwant everyone to have tequila shots on me and sing karoake and remember that no matter what? life is meant for us to live. i want to live it up and live it well.

Friday, December 19, 2008


phew. okay. let me get in position. let me get comfortable. because what i'm about to write is very important to me.

wish i had my keyboard at work. SO much easier to type on. thank you, backspace.


i just watched a movie. and yes, i know i need to finish my meme, the last two questions being the most telling about myself, but let me first say,

THE WOMEN????????????????????????????

best. movie. you. ever. have. to. see. and last time i checked, only one man follows my blog (Ryan, you are the shizzz, and will probably love this movie just as much as i did. bear with me here, mah friend) and hello this movie so needs to be seen by ALL OF YOU.

yes. i am talking. to. YOU. mah friend. YOU need to see this movie. it is THAT GOOD.


to the point that i just watched the 'special features' which i never do(okay i do but still, always dissapointing)and hello!!!!! this movie? all women need to see. it is EMPOWERING. it is MOTIVATING.

it makes me want to invite all of ya'll to my house to have a sleepover. and okay. i wanted to do that anyways. but really. this movie?


have you NOT stopped readin' me to go out and rent it? BUY IT?

HELLO? anyone there? (taptap)okay that's a good thing if no one is there. that means that all of ya'll (or ya'll'll as Marchelle, i am tryin' to make a new movement here!) have stopped readin' and have gone out to see this, or ahem rent it, or AHEM BUY IT it means that you have.

i heart this movie. i heart it so hard. it made me realize, ME is an important word. and i know, as a woman, i tend to put other people before me. tend? i scoff. ALWAYS i put other people before me. sometimes for the worse. because, there's a fine line between empathetic and caring and ... putting yourself last.

i am SO guilty of this.

and so, this movie? yeah. forgive my cursing, (earmuffs!!) but screw work. (yeah. i had a much better word for screw but for the sake of my good christian readers, we'll use screw) screw tryin' to bend myself ten shades of wednesday! screw breakin' mah neck for people who could give two shits! (apologies, readers. i know not what i do. or. i do. am goin' to hell.)

i am SICK and TIRED of livin' for other people.

how on EARTH could a movie shake my core this much? well, my friends, watch it. it is hilarious, i cried, more than once, and i'm watchin' it again. heck who am i kiddin'? i'm buyin' the damn thing.

this. movie. i sit here, i realize, i am worth so. much. more. and damnit, i'm gonna be even more than i ever thought possible.

cuz this girl? is just gettin' started. watch out, ya'll. cuz i'm gonna rule.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

part deux:MOI

hello darlings. come close. gather round. while i whisper juicy secrets and tid bits of my boring twenty something life into your eager little elfin ears. get ready. i'm dishin' it out. no holds barred. (what does that mean, anyway?) all honesty all the time. well. most of the time. i lie. all the time. see? there i go again.


Ash asked me, When did you get married and how did he propose?!

okay. this is kinda funny. we were out of town for a friends wedding (a friend i no longer talk to, long story. ahem.) (i was maid of honor. see? super long story for another time.) my birthday is july 17th, and Vlads birthday is july 14th- we're a year and three days apart. i'm younger. anyway. so the wedding was on july 15th. that's the day he proposed to me. in a hotel room. he comes out of the bathroom while i'm saying let's go let's go we're late let's go and being my usual freaked-out self about time and he just sticks his arm out, palm up, with a blue box resting in his hand. he doesn't say a word. in fact, he looks quite petrified. of course i hugged him and said yes and all that jazz. i was happy. it was nice. and so funny bc he totally looked majorly freaked out!

Jenn asked me a TON of questions. like these little jewels:

(1) How many guests did you have at your wedding? about 150. we were supposed to have nearer 200 but a lot of people were ridiculous and canceled last minute on us. not fun.
(2) Were you a bridezilla? i think i was the opposite. my mother planned the entire thing- she is amazing and should do it for a living- and actually kept telling me that i needed to get more involved or get pickier, bc i was generally pretty lax with it all. the only thing that i wanted was ambience- which got mucked up anyway, bc the florist did exactly the opposite of what she was going to do and the place it was at? didn't do what i asked, either. oh well. it looked gorgeous anyway.
(3) Kids? Someday? How many? yes kids someday, probably in about a year to two years. and i'd say maybe three at the most but i'll be very gracious and thankful if i am lucky enough to have one.
(4) Are you going to college or are you already done? girl, you have NO clue. i've had like a kagillion different majors and now i think i want to do something w/law enforcement... so i'm going to go back to school next year. i took 3 years off when i decided not to become a nurse. oh and i'm CNA certified. so i am totally qualified to do cpr on you. or for a ton of fun we could play 'heimlich' cuz i'm really good at that now, too. (and wiping behinds, but we won't go there.) (oops. just did.)
(5) Hobbies? blogging, of course! also i LOVElive to read. i adore it. i would be a librarian if it weren't so awfully boring most of the time. i read mostly fiction. and i go on kicks where i'll read one genre for a while and then switch. right now i'm on crime. mmmm. james patterson.... i could, and would, eat his books if it were okay to do so. i love him. before this, i was on a romance/vampire kick. don't ask.

Mama Dawg asked me: I want to know more about your hubbie. His background is so fascinating to me.

okay, here we go! Vlad was born Vladimir Vicktor Kalugin on July 14th, 1983. in Bellaruse, Russia. near Minsk. he wore school uniforms, had a country house, his dad was an engineer over there... and then the cold war hit. and then chernobyl. and the family got scared. under the pretense that they were Jewish, they were allowed safe passage to America. they came in i think ... 1993. he was nine. they moved to Illinois, his dad opened up a mechanics shop and his mom started to learn English, and Vlad went to regular public school. they lived in a two bedroom apartment with four other families that they traveled with. they were successful and wealthy in Russia, and upon arriving in America learned that they weren't so comfortable with finances here.

oh and my husband loves to tell people that he saved up all of his money in Russia- quite a bit actually, for a kid- and when he came to America he wanted to buy a toy at LaGuardia airport. and proceeded to spend all of his money on it. bc THAT'S how poorly Russian money converts to American money. he's still pissed to this day.

Vlad is friends with a lot of other Russians. i hear Russian on a daily basis. and now? when i'm ANYWHERE in public? i run into at LEAST one Russian. it gets to the point that Vlad and i are like, wow, did we seriously get thru Best Buy without seeing one? and then an obviously russian person will walk by and we'll both go, 'there it is! there they are!' cuz there's always one of em. i swear. they are everywhere.

what else? he's 5'8, has like no fat on him no matter what he eats, he owns his own Auto Body Shop and runs it amazingly well. he has a full sleeve (tattoos)on his right arm, which is tribal and then a coy fish. he has three more tattoos besides that one. his family is extremely hard working but his mother still doesn't know how to drive a car. his dad's name is Vitaly which i always thought was Italian. he's been back to Russia only one time since coming to America, but his family goes back all the time... Vlad's sister, Anastacia (pronounced, Ah-nah-stah-see-yah) was just married in Russia and her husband finally got the clearance to come to the USA. she's super excited.

i'm not sure what else to say about him. it's strange, at first his background was so foreign and cool to me but now? it's just second nature. i will tell you, tho, that russians like modern furniture and those weird clocks that are like, mirrors and play noises and stuff.

oh, i am SO gonna do a post on russian decorating now. heh. :)

i will wrap up with the rest tomorrow!!! night ya'll!!!!!!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

ALL about me. but seriously. it's ALL ABOUT ME.

soooooooo i wanted to answer your questions!!!!!! cuz they were super good questions. yep. yeppers. and i'm totally going to answer them. and also? this was SO INTERESTING bc i got to see a lil bit into yer guys's heads. or as Marchelle says, ya'll'll. or as CG says all ya'll.

WHY am i always southern when i type to you? strange.

moving on!

so. i'm going to do this in two parts bc a) i want to give each and every question a thorough and good interesting REAL LO answer, and not just a pssshaw and a one-worder. cuz that's not how i roll. so. i am doing the first three now. okay. get yer engines ready....

Linda asked me how much caffiene do i consume daily? and in what form? or am i always in "high gear" all the time naturally?

okay, linda, here's the thing. this is really strange. all ya'll think that i'm this super duper peppy gottagogottagorightnow sorta gal and in reality? i dont' really think i am. i'm super lazy. seriously!! what do i do at night: read a book and have a glass of wine. yep. that's about as crazy as i get. oh sure i go out on the weekends but as my husband says, i'm like an old woman. to which i take no offense bc that makes me SOOOOOOOOOOO much wiser than he.

ahem. okay. i consume ONE tall glass of Lipton orange, jasmine, passionfruit green tea every. single. morning. and it must be in a regular drinking glass, NOT a mug. i detest mugs. unless they're christmas themed. other than that i may splurge once in a while on a starbucks espresso truffle or americano or just a plain latte. i REALLY LIKE ESPRESSO. mmmmm.

Smart Mouth Broad asked me somewhat the same thing... Where on earth do you get all that energy? Youth, it must be youth. See there I answered my own question. Sorry.

don't know if it's youth, but a lot of it? i get from SKITTLES. yes. if i eat a bag of skittles i'm good to go at work for about two hours. then i eat some more sugar. mmmmm. (green is my fav.)

and last but CERTAINLY not least, Marchelle asked me, MANY, questions... here we go:

1. what kind of toothpaste do you use?

(cut to me running down the hall to the bathroom to check) (no really i did, i'm sitting here with my toothpaste in front of me at the computer desk. no lie.) i use... crest baking soda & peroxide whitening, fresh mint. it really is fresh. see i bought arm & hammer at walgreens the other day thinkin' it ws gonna make my teeth SHINE (and it was on sale) but... the taste? GOOD LORD i seriously thought i was poisoning myself. seriously. there MUST be something hazardous in that toothpaste bc it DOES. NOT. TASTE. GOOD.

2. where/how did you and the russian meet?

Vlad and i met randomly at a party in wisconsin. yeah. i live in illinois. i worked at a tanning salon, and i was being stood up on a saturday night by this guy i was dating. so the girl i was closing w/said, forget him!! come to this party with me, it'll be FUN. yeah. four hours later, i'm in a car with my now-really good friend Danny who my tanning job friend was dating at the time in wisconsin. and i met vlad there. who had no interest in me, from what i could tell. but, he was Danny's roommate and being the responsible gal that i am, i ended back up at their place bc i didn't want to drive after drinking a little... and i met Vlad when he came out of his room and woke up. then he called me, i made excuses to hang out at their place, two months later? i have my own apartment and he stays there every night. (refused to say he lived there. BUT HE DID.) and the rest? history. :) total FLUKE that i met him. oh this was also in august of .. 2004 i believe.

3. are youins' planning on taking the plunge into parenthood?

sigh. this question. it's one i fuss over daily. am i? aren't i? am i? aren't i? READY??? and the answer is, probably not. but we do want kids. I WANT KIDS. i want boys and girls and whatever else happens to drop into my life. i love kids. i however do NOT like babies and wish i could give birth to a two year old. or. not. cuz that would hurt. but you get what i'm sayin', and that's probably the main reason why i'm not preggers right now. that and... oh, a little thing called BEING RESPONSIBLE. but if i happened to get pregnant? i would welcome it with open arms. but i want to start trying in maybe a year, two years.

4. what is your favorite vacation spot?

SARASOTA, florida. sigh. the gulf. it is my favorite place. so peaceful. so laid back. so small townish and the best king crab legs EV-AR. i wish i had a better pic other than this one shot from our balcony last time we went but i promise, sigh, it's gorgeous. i'm a beach girl. thru-and-thru. no joke. it's why it's so painful for me to live in illinois. our beaches SUCK the big toe out here. that's why during the summer i'm ALWAYS at lake geneva bc even tho it's a small beach, it's still A BEACH and it's CLEAN and i love all the quaint little shops and the fact that i can WALK to Kilwin's (if you know not what this is, you MUST GOOGLE IT. the best ice cream... sigh... ever....) and then eat my root beer float on the beach. also, best store ever, global gourmet, sigh.....

so. i will answer the next four tomorrow, and i think i started to tell you this in the beginning of the post and then in tru Lo fashion got distracted and now i'm going to tell you bc i just KNOW you read this entire novella post with bated breath: the reason b) why i'm only doing three tonight is bc there was a SEMI TRUCK JACK KNIFFED right where i get onto the 94 expressway. it took me AN HOUR just to get past it..... and then onto the official highway. since the semi jackknifed on the on-ramp. and if you don't understand jack knifed (term i heard on the radio, i NEVER KNEW it meant what i saw. and yes. i tried to take a picture, much to the police officers chagrin, but... damn camera phone sucks at night!!!) it's when the semi decides it wants to eat the 4 foot center median and try to get into the southbound lanes on the other side. and take out a PLOW TRUCK while doing so. yeah. not pretty.

don't worry. i sent good fuzzy happy pleasebealive thoughts to the driver, wherever he was at the time, and also big fuzzy thankyou thoughts to all the service men and women who were helping him.

5. what do you want to be when you grow up?

want to know the scary truth?


i leave you with that :)

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

i done picked a pickle person.

so remember how i asked ya'll about the whole pickle thing? and you answered? and i was wowed? and floored? and amazed and my jaw dropped into my lap and i hugged my computer and danced around in the snow and sang little drummer boy?
or maybe i just said something like 'cool, yo' and went online to search for my own pickle ornament. for me, and a german friend of mine. who has a little tyke who's a little over 2 and would totally love to get into this tradition.
aren't these ornaments AWESOME?
okay. and i will SPARE YOU the saga that was my commute home. i drove basically about 27 miles IN TWO HOURS and fifteen minutes. but it's okay, bc i was off work at 3pm today bc of our very dissapointing employee lunch at MAGGIANO'S so if anyone in the maggiano's crew be readin' this post? only the mannicoti was good. but hello. alfredo sauce? is never bad. i take that back. but really. burnt salmon???? oh, SO not even going there right now. and i have to give you props, maggiano's, your calamari is especially scrumptious.
ON TO THE WINNER: Marchelle!!!!
and dude? i did NOT rig this contest. seriously. it came up with seven. and she was the seventh person to comment.
Random Integer Generator

Here are your random numbers:7

Timestamp: 2008-12-17 01:43:32 UTC
i sat and tried to figure out this whole random thing and honestly? i think... i'm... maybe.... a bit slow. cuz it took me like two tries to figure out how to use the darn thing. you silly you.
anyway. so MARCHELLE you get $25 to starbucks. and yes. i DID TOO buy the gift card tonight .promise. cross my heart and really hope not to die.
so. you wanna email me your address? to so i can give it to you? and write you a little note? and TOTALLY NOT stalk you cuz you know... you live in another state.
oh and also? having to pee while still about 10 miles from home and an hour later?
yeah. i don't think i've EVER moved as fast as i did when i ran into my house. nuff said. winter? you sorta kinda suck.

Monday, December 15, 2008

So! ay-yo! hello! askmeaskmeaskme day!!!!

hello, my lovely little yummery blog peppermint bark bloggers you. come in a lil' closer. we're gonna go somewhere i've never gone before. somewhere lovely and delicious and once i do there is NO stoppin' me bc once i get goin'?

once i have an idea? as my husband says, i get a 'pepper up my butt' and cannot. willnot. do anything else. UNTIL I DO THIS THING I JUST HAVE TO MUST HAVE TO DO righthisecondNOW.


or as my mother says, i get so flippin' fixated i would rather DIE than not be able to accomplish said task.

pepper up the butt sounds more funny, tho, and makes me giggle. heh. ahem. anyway.

i am doing something that CG over at Dreams of a Country Girl does sometimes. and i LOVE IT. bc i am, as we all know, NOSY. as in, i will spy on you, if you leave your blinds open bc you're just ASKING for it. in my opinion which is the only one that matters amen.

so. ask me anything. anything you want!!!!!! seriously. i can't even THINK what any of you would want to know about me but really? i just thought this would be interesting. give ya'll a lil' peek into what makes Lo LO. ya know?

like for example? i am afraid of the dark. yep. i am. i have a system down so that i never have to deal w/a pitch black room.

also? i am addicted to chapstick. yep. i am. i CANNOT WILLNOTHAVENOTEVER go without chapstick- i have backups at work and at home and 2 that i carry in my purse justincase one dissapears. i love it. i'm always switching brands too. right now it's hardcore CARMEX but it used to be aveeno bc they have lovely organic ingredients.

also? i so suck at buying organic. i just can't give up my processed weird breaded Jewel-brand frozen chicken nuggets. they are TOO GOOD.

i'm ipod illiterate. no seriously. i cannot figure the thing out. not so much the ipod but the online itunes thing? it's super way confusing? or i'm just lazy. nah. that couldn't be it. nope no way sirree bobby lynne jo.

so. ask away. anything. everything. or nothing! if ya don't wanna know, DON'T ASK. cuz if ya ask? I WILL TELL YOU. just warning you. cuz i'm honest and all. and maybe a little too willing to 'air mah laundry' or ... bare my soul or.... show you the insides of my cupboards where i keep my pots and pans.

cuz i would, yo, i totally would. if you asked to see it. which i'm hoping to all that is marvelous and scrumptious, you won't.

but then again i remember who you are and then i think, really? going easy on me? NOT. GONNA. HAPPEN.

ask away!!!!!!!!!

forgive my tardiness, bloggies, i know not what i do (or something like that)

so this weekend was FULL of not-fun stuff. tons of it. fillied TO THE BRIM. turns out my father-in-law, the man who never gets sick, the man who installs a dryer on the 2nd floor of my townhouse in ten minutes or less (including carrying it up the stairs) the man who eats like a 17th century nobleman ( aka, holdin the drumstick and goin' at it) the man who everyone in the family turns to for support and stability....

had a heart attack on Thursday night.

i've been debating whether or not i wanted to blog about this. considering that he's at home now, safe, healthy, and okay, i figured that i could. thank god it didn't go the other way. on Thursday he felt a little faint while he was at my husbands shop and decided to go home and rest- finally, after much needling from his wife, he went to the ER where he had an EKG and lo and behold, he had had a heart attack sometime Thursday morning. and didn't know. he was immediately admitted and went into surgery Friday morning, where he had angioplasty and had two stents put in his arteries. he now calls himself the '35 yr old man' bc i guess that's the age of his heart now.

it scared the bejesus out of my husband.

so needless to say, this weekend sucked the big ol' fat toe. Friday night after work we piled in the car, picked up his mom and visited his dad in the hospital. next to ICU. scary scary thing. he looked like a bear in that tiny bed and it threw me for a loop. we watched the bourne identity and listened to my mother-in-law talk to every. single. nurse. we left around 10.30 pm and i was exhausted.

we were supposed to go skiing on saturday, (much to my dismay bc i DO NOT do sports of any kind. especially in snow.) but i woke up sick. like, can't-move-or-i'll-die kinda sick. so i stayed in bed. vlad went to go ski, but then right when he got there, he had to turn around bc his friends? yeah. they left even tho they said they'd be there all night. so vlad, upon arriving in wisconsin, promptly turned around and came home. while iw as getting worse and worse he went to help his friends move furniture and when he came home? walked in to find a really, really sick lauren. my face was so flushed i swear i was a tomato and my hair was greasy and going off in five directions, i was wearing mismatching socks, a sweat-soaked t shirt and i had glassy, bloodshot eyes. he promptly made me change out of my sick clothes and stationed me on the couch where i had a delirous fever-filled night.

woke up yesterday feeling much better but still exhausted. after a day running errands (curse you costco for being sold out of the starbucks gift cards, also? i am going to use randomizer to choosea winner from the pickle post bc i just can't be responsible for pickin a winner. CANT. DO IT.) we went to his parents house to visit with his dad, bc he was released yesterday. he looked good, healthy, normal, except for the I.V. tracks.

back home i vegged out and watched movies. extreme measures? is a super good late-90's movie. vlad had never seen it. i like hugh grant.

does anyone know any other good late-90's movies along those lines??? i'm feeling retro. (and please don't throw stones at me for calling late-90's retro.)

and this morning? yeah. ICE STORM ANYONE?????? freakin' flip man, it was NASTY, nast-tay outside this morning and the ice on my car? NEVER MELTED. the 45 minutes, 24.5 miles i was in the car driving, it. never. melted. and i had warmed it up for 30 minutes prior to leaving, too. that's crazy yo. i am so not looking forward to the commute home.

also? i have a case of the i-feel-like-throwing-up's this morning. lovely.

how are all of you this fine craptastic monday morning?

Thursday, December 11, 2008


oh. and i ALSO heard of a lil' german traditon of hiding a lil pickle in the tree.

yeah. uhm. i'm part-german.

anyone wanna explain this weird tradtion to me? i would be ever so lovingly in your debt.

ahem. that is. a starbucks GIFT CARD

that's RIGHT

all you peeps readin' me, a starbucks GIFT CARD

for twenty green ones, tellin' me, what is all about this pickle in the tree???

and i swear. promise. first person who gives me an explination why the heck a pickle is in a christmas tree????? will win a starbucks $20 gift card.

cuz i have an extra.

cuz ya'll? deserve to know what an espresso truffle is.
so i'm not sure i really have that much to say except....

i have ALWAYS been a die-hard christmas fanatic. like, TO THE BONE, don't EF WITH ME, i will slash your macy's bag to high heaven if you even THINK of cuttin' me off in line.

the wierd thing? this year... i don't even have a tree up yet.

I KNOW. DON'T STOP READING. I PROMISE that this is me typing right now.

but seriously.

and even more frightening? i don't think i'm goin to put one up this year.

I KNOW. who AM i, right???? jeez. c'mon Lo, put some elbow grease in and get that darn tree UP, dangit!

well, it seems, this year is a little hard. tied in with stress from my job, is stress from my husbands job. 'member him? yeah. well. Mr. Vlad is stressin' majorly with his business, that he runs amazingly and still blows the too-big socks off me by his business-runnin-suave-ness, and so this year, we really haven't had the time.

NIX that. we really haven't had the ENERGY.

cuz dude? puttin up a tree and all? damn! that takes time. time that i'd rather spend relishing, enjoying, lavishing in the love of my loved ones. time i'd rather spend cooking dinner for my husband, or talking to my mom about random stuff, or just... just... being. and donating. and giving to others.

and honestly? i can decorate like nobody's business around christmas time. i am a FREAK like that. i have two shelves, TWO in my garage donated to xmas alone. and btw? i hate the term 'xmas.' but it really is easier to type. and it may have been faster to just type out christmas instead of xmas but then you'd never know this about me and THEN where would you be???

oh lordy. i've done and did it again. rambling. it's my ... how do you say? (or type?) forte? i'm missing an accent mark. so shoot me.

please don't. unless you're shooting marshmallows at me and in that case? let the games begin!!!!!

but really? i am feeling so guilty about not coming home to a big ol' tree. and not posting about all the amazing ornaments i have. bc my mom? made sure that every. single. year i have been alive... i have a dated ornament for. my christmas tradition? goin' to hallmark or wherever to pick up the ornament 'of the year.' i loved it. and my mom? when i moved out on my own, she gave me all of my own ornaments (she now favors those fancy shamcy glass blown glittery expensive thingies) and now? i have enough for an entire tree. and each one? represents a year of my life.

honestly, if i could thank my mom for one thing this time of year? it'd be that. i am SO. GLAD. that she did that for me. and it's so something i'm STILL doin'. so this year wish me luck as i go out and find one. maybe .... a flip flop? maybe.. a snowflake? a santa? a... ihatedoinglaundry one? tell me your ideas!!!!! tell me what ornament i should keep my eyes out for. cuz i wanna know YOUR opinion. cuz i'm interested (nosy) like that and all.

and also? i TOTALLY still have the same 'the night before christmas' book my mom bought me as a kid. and also? i read it , ALOUD, every. single. christmas eve. and my husband used to roll his eyes..... but now? he listens. and LIKES IT.

oh, my friends.... envision me rubbing my palms together, evil kennival (how DO you spell that??) style.... he will love Disney just as much. mark my words. i will make him a BELIEVER.

in all things MICKEY. cuz hello? mickey? is the shizzzz. just sayin', yo.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

uhm. so i was doing laundry tonight and mindin' my own bizznizz and then i get side-tracked by other blogs and then i sort of kind of went to 'take a break' and went online and...


okay. not my fault. i read somethin' that made my eyes tear up and then i read some more and then i was a readin' maniac and then... and then...

i heard this sort of weird meow-howl. and i knew. Daisy. and i'm thinking, okay.... cat did not come up with me, did not chill while i did laundry, thought she was downstairs sleepin' on her princess-throne pillow... (and remind me to take a pic of that later. it's kinda hilarious.)

was she here the whole time?? where'd she come from?

no, instead...

i look over and see THIS. yeah. ya'll ever go to fold socks and find THIS in your laundry basket???? cuz i do. she LOVES clean clothes. and uhm. yeah. that's sorta kinda my right foot in the pic. and socks never fit me. i always get 'duck feet'. aka.... socks that are so big they sort of flop out by the toe. hard to explain. i have abnormally small feet for my height. i'm ALMOST 5'6".5" but not quite ,and yet? my feet? are size 6-6.5. yeah. no idea where that came from. my husband calls them 'midget feet'. not politically correct, but... we forgive him.

talk about me ruining someone's parade... she's all, 'doode. you did just NOT wake me up to fold socks, didjya? damn girl , you are BORR-RRING!!'

leave it to me to have a cat that acts like a 15-yr-old.

(she also looks very alarmed. maybe i shouldn't have forced a pic? she WAS on my clean whites so, i say, that's free reign on all sorts of photos. sorry Dais. (i call her Daze.) it's what i do. yo' mama is sellin' yo pics online. what can i say?)

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

oh, and also? Marchelle M? MzzzzzM? girl, PLEASE tell me the secret to RSS.

cuz really?






and one of my fave sites, Ryan updates daily and yet? i cannot share. sigh. the agony.

help, Marchellem, help!
this is for you, Midlife Slices !!! more flowerpowerdetailschetails for ya.

and okay. the best i could do. but really? these flowers? are AWESOME. i totallllly have one sittin' in my livin' room next to my two strapping 3" nutcracker gents. and it looks mighty fine.

also? secondly? side note? apologies for being m.i.a..... havin' to go to the doctor and sitting in the waiting room for EVER is soooo not how i like to spend my monday nights. just sayin'.

and? although the new "female" (ahem) doc (ahem nurse pracitioner, same deal) is super duper cool and i "pink fuzzy glitter heart love her" (as i do love you, CG, as i do love you) is so totally awesome AND YET STILL?

the appt. was for 6.30pm. i ran my lil butt over there, after work, which lets me free at 5.30pm, to sit in traffic, i even called the dr's office to tell them i was runnin' late... they had no idea who i was.... even tho i had called earlier and made the appt... but whatev's, i'm a new patient, i get it, yo! i forgive. that is just my nature.

or. sometimes.

this time? nah. bc THIS TIME? uhm........ i wasn't seen until 8pm. yeah. you heard right. i thought there was an emergency BUT THERE WAS NO EMERGENCY (just had to put that in caps so if any of you peeps got to worryin', i'm a-okay. promise. pinky promise. girl scouts honor and all that) but i couldn't just, you know, up and leave bc then all the OTHER people there were goin' to whisper about me and i have anxiety and instead i sat there in pain, worried out of my blonde skull, thinkin' the worst, and FINALLLLLLLLLLLY. ta-flippin-dah, nothin' is wrong with me, i'm just a big ol' worrywart. which? honestly? is a-okay in my book. i'd rather worry than to not give a rats patootie (thanks mamadawg) about my own flippin' body.

but. uhm. ohmygoodness this was a post about all the amazing AH-mayyyzin' flowers my mom made, by hand. give her props, yo.

you take a jordan almond (an italian tradition at weddings, no wonder my mom wanted these so bad!) and you fold the little wire-rimmed mesh .. er... uhm... thingies (yeah i totally didn't help her with these. my bad. throw stones. it's okay. i offered to help. but somehow? my mom read thru that and was all, nah, i gots this.)(like. always.) and then you twist the fake flower stem, and then tie a bow with ribbon.

and somehow? you get that. bc i? cannot make one if my soul depended on it. and also? at least i managed to replace the almond that fell out of one of the flower-almonds that i have. i am THAT talented. i can twist ribbon wire.


Saturday, December 6, 2008

i officially hate you, blogger. you. suck.

so this pic makes me crack up. cuz i am the ONLY one lookin' at the camera, and i have this look on my face like... like... 'i am goin nuts and there's no goin back' kinda face. in a good way. anyway. take a gander at the few photos i could upload.

so i wanted to post some pics of the wedding and i was all excited that i could do this bc mom was nice enough to stop by and upload them while i showered and i was like YEZZZZZ and then?

blogger decided... lauren, you are on my crap list, and YOU. SUCK. or perhaps i don't know the most expediant way to upload pics that doesn't take LONGER THAN LAST WEDNESDAY. seriously yo, this is just too much for me. i have tried, MULTIPLE TIMES, to upload the most funny pic EVAH of vlad and i laughing during our wedding ceremony. V was all yo, what'd you just say??? and the officiant was like, huh? and i started laughing and then everyone laughed and Vlad was like man, it is HOT in here and i feel like i'm gonna faint and really? help a brothah out? (okay. he used proper English. but still. high-larious.)

anyway. uhm. so i wanted to put up tons of pics but blogger is being a butthead and i tried over and over and basically, it seems it hates the best pics i pick out. but i still got some!!!!

the "girl" side of the wedding party. from left: Kathy, my sister-in-law. who, i think? looks freakishly like me in this photo . i NEVER KNEW we looked so related!!! uh, yeah, weird. then we go to Natalie, the fiance of a good friend of ours. then Georgia, the awesome chick who cuts my hair fo-free yo! cuz she's awesome like that. and also cuz she's the older sister of vlads longtime friend and so has hap-hazardly become a close friend of ours. also? their mom rocks. just sayin'. shout-out, Angela!!! then me of course. then, Angie my aunt who might as well be my sister. she's also pregnant. we're all rooting for an "Olivia" and not an "Oliver.". yeah. she wants a girl. BAD. and last but not least, my other sister in law, Stacy. or Anastacia. she's a riot. and helps keep me sane thru all russian parties. we usually run off together and hide. every time.


this was the ceremony. yeah that's me. in the big white dress. i felt SO WEIRD being center of attention cuz i am sooooo not like that..... so i ended up laughing thru the entire ceremony due to nerves and the fact that vlad looked like he was goin' to pass out. in fact, all the groomsmen did. maybe it was hot in that room? really? it was? darned if i noticed. but yet again. i wasn't wearing like twelve thousand layers. (i'm glad i'm female and will never have to wear a tux.)(those things? brutal.)

annnnnnnnnnnnnnnd, i give you:

russian family!!! okay, from left: Art, or Arthur, who is Kathy's husband- see photo above- she was also first left- coincidence- then grandpa, who speaks no english. and then babushka. or grandma. who ALSO speaks no english. but they're still mah peeps. and then mother-in-law, and then father-in-law. he rocks a pony tail along w/an earring.
so, all in all i am sorry that i can't share more right now. honestly? i have so many pics to go thru, i'm losin' my mind. i am tired. it's about one in the morning. i'm tryin' my best. and trying to forward pics on to friends and... and... hotmail also hates me. blogger, you kinda suck really hard right now. and i will give you the benefit of the doubt that tomorrow? you won't be so cranky. cuz you're worse than me pmsing, yo. and that ain't cool.

my wedding

we JUST got our pictures. i only had time to upload these room shots bc it takes forrrever to upload pics to blogger cuz of their size. or something. but i thought you guys might like to take a peek :)
oh and also my mother hand-made all of those almond flowers. isn't that INSANE?
i promise to get more up!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, December 5, 2008

do you ever feel like being TOTALLY CRAZZZZY random? like completely? or maybe not-so-completely but in my head it's normal but like, when i voice it? yeah. er, i think it's random. or. rather. YOU do.

argh. i've had a hard tough time tryin' to VERBALIZE this bizzz, yo!!

okay. so. i wanted to post but i have really nothing of interest to say except that i really super duper like talking and uhm i think there are a couple of cooky peepers out there(yeah i'm talkin to you)who actually READ this weirdos mind patterns and..... on the journey we go, my friendies.

do you ever get vertigo? i'm not just talking afraid of heights. i'm talkin, cant-walk-next-to-the-railing, avoid-escalators-at-all-costs, fallin'-on-the-ground-freaked-out when on top of the sears tower, VERTIGO.

well i do. i have it. yep. i have this INTENSE fear of heights. moreso the thought of falling. yeah, skydiving? uh, the plane would have to be ON FIRE and i would still have to be pushed. yeah. i would even consider jumping into the OCEAN out of that burnin' hunk a junk before i let myself parachute out.

this is my house. funny, right? that i have a house that is LOFTED TILL NEXT TUESDAY. yeah. i don't know what that means but i say it a lot and i know it may not make sense but AGAIN. this is called slap happy musings. and damn straight that's what this here chicken-scratch is.

yeah. so i'm upstairs and when i lean over? that's my foyer. and part of the living room. o and also the tv that vlad bought on sale for his work and.... never took it to work. oops. it's now a convenience place for me to put jackets and purses. i am just so brilliant and clever that way.

anyway. does this photo freak ANYONE OUT? it freaks me out. i get sweaty palms and my palms and bottoms of my feet get this unpleasant tingling sensation and i get short of breath and sort of SPAZ OUT. more than usual.

oh did i ever mention that our dryer broke? i think i did. and then we got a new one? yeah. i mentioned that too. did i mention that it doesn't have HEAT? yep i told ya that nugget too.
never underestimate the ingenuity of a male. if he wants something done bad enough, doggonit, he will FIND. A. WAY. (if you build it, he will come) so. this is my husband, champion laundry man.... using my half-wall-thingie-i-have-no-name-for-it as a sort of assembly line of drying clothes. it doesn't really bother me. it's kind of nice, actually, to walk out of the bedroom (which is behind me when i took this photo, just in case you were dyin to know that tidbit) and have all your underwear, socks, bras and jeans and shirts all ready to go. except when friends come over. yeah. i don't think they've EVER seen me move as fast as i did when all of my unmentionables were laid out on display like Chiclets (how do you spell this??? aaaghhh!!) in tijuana. (if you've never been there, ignore that.)

oh and remember when i sort of kind of told you that i have this really weird habit of SPYING ON PEOPLE? yeah. i have THE BEST view into my neighbors house. SERIOUSLY. it is priceless man. and they always have their blinds open!!! it is WEIRD. they go to bed at seriously no joke like 7.30 and then watch tv or read for HOURS. they stay up later than me!!! like past 11!!! on a SCHOOL NIGHT!! these are rebels, ya'll. and they have shiny turquoise drapes. I KNOW. totally weird, right? so anyway. i just wanted to share with you. this is the view out of my bedroom window. vlad has found me, in the dark, watching the neighbors (who have like a two year old. what does this kid DO when the parents go watch tv for hours at night??? it's things like this that keep me up at night.) from a crouched position on the floor. and many a time he has said, you know, sometimes i think you're normal but moments like this? remind me of how odd you really are. stop being a peeper.
but i don't stop. i can't stop. if you didn't want me to see, then CLOSE THE BLINDS. nuff said.
oh and also? so ya'll don't call me a peeper too? i took this picture when the blinds were CLOSED. bc i respect other people's privacy. sometimes. well. enough that i won't post a picture on the world wide web of them sitting in bed watchin' tv. (cuz they would totally know it was me from the angle) bc i have dignity and respect for other human beings.
but still. i had to share. cuz i know you-all were just DYING to know what i do with my nights. when i'm not blogging. or playing wii. or staring at my cat bc she meows like i routinely step on her tail or something. which i don't. i love her. but anyway.
was this random enough? i don't think so. this is my pet peeve- when i'm in the grocery store never. freakin. fails. that when i'm in the line? yeah. it's moving fast, i'm zoning out watchin' rachel ray (who always had THE BEST jewelry) on the little tv screen they now have there (really? ingenious. kudos, grocery store marketing team) readin' about brittney spears or lindsay lohen and then BAM. it's my turn. and what happens? oh. yeah. they gotta switch shifts. never. fails. it is always ME who has to stand there like an idiot freakin' out cuz all of my items are laid out for the entire WORLD to see (really? why aren't carts solid? i HATE when people look in my cart. mind yo biz, lady!) and they take forever and then finally... he starts to ring me up.. or she... and they are the SLOWEST. CASHIER. EVER.
tonight? i think i almost popped a blood vessel tryin' to keep it all inside. cuz i know that job is kinda not the most fun ever. and the guy was super nice. but really? i'll just bag my own groceries next time. eggs and steak? do NOT belong in the same bag. even IF they are both animal by-products. and who buts BACON with bisquik? that bisquik, man, has a nasty left hook cuz my bacon? totally has the bacon equivalent of a black eye.
and in case you're wondering what that is.... SMUSHED.
hope your bacon fairs better than my bacon, friends. and make sure bacon goes with steak. just sayin'.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

so tired, so ho-hum, so... in love with sourdough. mmmm.

this? this right here? oh yeah. now that's the stuff. the shizz. the shizznit. the be-all-end-all of my tastebuds needs. SOURDOUGH BREAD. trader joe's. (did you know the russian in-laws call it traders joe? yeah. trust me, it can grate on a girls nerves!) i love sittin' down with a pat o' buttah and goin' to TOWN on these lovely morsels of sliced wonderfully tart tastin' goodness brilliance. yes. i love my sourdough bread.

so much, in fact, that i am willing, WILLING I TELL YOU, to show you my messy house. yes. this is my coffee table. right now. to the right you'll find the t.v. i didn't do a wider shot bc really? i could spare you my nonmakeuped face at this moment and my hot mess hair. but that? is butter. oh yeah. and me? yeah. i take the butter knife and slice out the top layer of that yummy butter(impersonation butter, but tastes exactly the same. another reason why i owe you my first born, joe the trader.)and then totally leave the used knife on top cuz i'm CURAZZY like that, yo!
or just a lazy blondie who can't even get the energy to climb the stairs to share the buttery messy goodness w/the world.
and yeah. so i buy Jewel-brand water. what of it? i guess you Figi and Evian peeps are too cool for school. (Jewel, in case you're not stuck in snow-laden midwestern usa, is like albertsons.. or rons.)
(yeah. i've lived all over the us)

okay. just to throw it out there- and for shameless ron burgundy plug- "i'm gonna throw it out there, and if you don't like it feel free to throw it right back" or somethin like that bc really? i don't have it as well memorized as my husband. who likes to scream CANNONBALL at in-opportune times. ahem. anyway. yeah. so those are my feet. in my fave blanket. i'm sittin' and readin mah book and to the left of me within lazy reach would be the butter tub and the bread. and did i mention wine? silly me. anyway.
this is why my husband, while he may piss me off from time to time? as i do him as well? this is why i think he's the shizz. dude brought me flowers. for no flippin reason. HELLO that's a-okay in my book! and not just flowers, roses. and when i asked him, why, babe, why??? did you DO something? is everything OKAY? did i do something and not REALIZE it?
he goes, in true guy fashion?

so... why'd you buy them then? (i'm a nosy thing, i am. or just down right suspicious. roses and it's not even valentines day???) (remind me to tell you the story about how i got BLUE dyed daisies that were flat on one side like fat kid sat on 'em in choir sorta way for v day.)
uh, they were at the store. so i bought them.
wow babe, i'm going to call up Jewel and tell them to start carrying jimmy choos bc this gal? could totally rock those babies till next sunday. just sayin'.