Monday, March 23, 2009

suck it yo.

first off, let me say that i love ya'll. the comments yo have left me lately are what drives me thru the day, no joke, seriously.

that said? if ya'll don't try chalula? enter, intervention on your ass. cuz i am that serious about it.

in case you're like my husband and can't eat spicy, i will let you ride free. with a doctors note.

cholula is serious, yo.

on to other things. as in. i left work at about 2.3o bc i felt so bad. had to deal with 'the shit', people telling me i wasn't really feeling bad and ANYONE can drive on a migraine, it's ALL IN YOUR HEAD!!!!!!!

meanwhile, i went home. screw that. life is too short to wallow and suffer. i suffered. until 3.20 in the frickin afternoon when i SHOULD have called in after my husband so lovingly told me, 'you look like crap, go to bed, you shouldn't go to work like this.' ehm, thanks babe, i think?

also? cut to last night. so it's no joke that vlad, my husband, drives a sports ccar. he does. expensive. i don't like to talk about it, bc we don't define ourselves by our material posessions. but.

it rocks. i have to say, this car, and me, we're TIGHT. we love each other. white chocolate hearts love each other.

i won't tell you what it is. you can email me if you want to know.

so okay. cut to me, we just bought a grill, i'm all excited, kaboobs are my heaven, so i drive to the grocery store for fuel. and then.


i stop at the stop sign that's in every parking lot. a white car starts to yell atg me. the driver. i shrug. whatevs.

and then she starts to yell some more.

and then, she turns, and i'm all, you know, life is too short, i just want to park so i can get my steak on.

and then she puts her car in park. and let me tell you, you know those stop signs in the parking lots? YEAH. i stopped. i waited for her to turn into the parking row. she was yelling, waving her arms, goin balistic before i ever went near her. and yeah. she turned.

i wanted to park! to shop! so pulled behind her, expecting nothing. and then.

she threw her car into park and got OUT OF THE CAR. uh, sorry, but i'm a little skinny ass white girl, pardon me while i run into the corner. much as i wanted to smack her ass up, she was HUGE.

needless to say, i booked my ass outta there like a little girl. but really. i am not ashamed to admit that you never know.

you. never. know. the shit that people carry. i want to live, not die in some crappy ass grocery store parking lot.

i can say now that i wish that woman lots of love and caring. and trust me, it took me HOURS and DAHYS to say that. DAHHHHYS. i need to be the better person. but. it. is. hard.

bitch was crazy yo.

i'm afraid of jewel (my local shoppn hole) and i'm ashamed to say i am.

but you never know.

what if this crazy woman who totally got out of her car and started to walk toward me... what if she had a gun?

and really? i ask ya'll. do expensive sports cars cause you to do this shit?????

i think, nah. ya'll are sane. this woman, scared, the, be JESUS outta me.

i can't even grocery shop without this shit happening. and people wonder why i love the internet and my bloggy friends and my safe lil circle.

cuz all those peeps on the outside? you all are crazy as SHIT YO, and i am afraid of you, and quite frankly, i think you suck.

go suck it.

yeah. i said it. to all of those nasty angry people, i wish you well, but honestly? suck it.


Twenty Four At Heart said...

I love me some cholula sauce. Also tapatio have you tried it? Am I spelling any of these correctly?

Lo, try not to get your ass kicked before blogher, okay? Cuz I'm really counting on a drink (or two( with you!

Anonymous said...

You always make me laugh. Do you talk like this in real life? We need recordings. I'm sure you can do that on your phone so let's hear 'em.

Anonymous said...

I just peed a little. I was like..."Lo's afraid of Jewel? Why would she be afraid of that crooked toothed slip of a singer???" Its late and I have had way too much sugar. I can't even blame it on wine.

Mom said...

Ah Lor, I'm sorry that chick went crazy on you. I've had it happen to me (and we know I'm no skinny girl)! It's pretty scary, so much anger out there.

Sending you lots of love and healing.

Mary said...

I've been reading your blog for the last couple of weeks but haven't commented yet. I'm dying laughing over here! I live in Memphis so I get what you are talking about. You DON'T get in arguments with people in parking lots. That's how folks end up getting shot! Hope you feel better today!!

A Perfectly Unperfect Girl said...

Well put my dear, well put.

Linda said...

Ha! My sister taught me this little thing she does with people like that...she gives them her prettiest smile, waves them trough and says softly & sweetly in a normal tone of voice "have a nice day...and then very quietly... asshole." Sure makes me feel better!

Laura B. said...

Ohh....24 at heart has it with Tapatio...I heart that stuff with big glittery pink hearts. If you've not tried it Lo, you gotta, it'll rock your world! I use it to spice up my homemade salsa if my jalapenos or serranos don't make the cut.

I have had two men get out of their cars and scream obscentities at me since I've been preggers. It's crazy...I know my temper is short and I don't take any crap but geez...people are crazy, Lo!

Glad you survived!