okay so as i'm typing this a co-worker of mine is in the bathroom, blowing his fricking nose like he needs to get his brains out NOW bc omg they're going to EAT HIS HEAD right off his body, and he'll be headless AND brainless and omg WHAT THEN?????
seriously. what the HELL is with people thinking it's okay to walk all the way from your desk, which is about a 45-second walk/thirty feet to the front of the office, to the bathroom, and go into said bathroom, WITH THE DOOR FRICKIN' OPEN no less, and blow until your eyes POP from their damn sockets?? seriously? is this okay? i mean, really? do you really need to share that with me?
the fact that you have a head cold so bad it sounds like you're dying w/out penicilin bc you're living in communist russia and they don't believe in treating people with medicine? huh? huh? bc o my dear god, sir, you are MURDERING ME.
close. the damn door next time.
or here's a thought. take one of the trillion boxes of generic cheap-ass tissue paper, or hell, live dangerously and take a whole ROLL OF TOILET PAPER which is probably softer anyway and put it on your desk, and when you gotta blow your nose, BLOW IT.
and spare me the sound effects next time bc really? bodily fluid, contrary to popular belief is SO not a turn on.