but then i got two comments that made me smile super-big bc honestly, when you've been reading (stalking) someones blog for so long and to have them come over to your brand spanking new one and (gasp) COMMENT???
oh lordy be, that made me so happy!
so instead of being mz. debbie downer i just wanted to say, heya, shucks, thank ya'll so much. i'll continue to (stalk) read your blogs religiously as i always have.
bc i'm just (obsessive) loyal like that.
in other news, my husband and i are having a lot of financial issues (well one big one: our house) and i guess that's sort of where all that agnst/fear/petrified-ness/depression comes from. last night we sat (stood) around the kitchen, sort of just talking over the future, the next year, what's going to happen. bc i'm scared, ya'll. i'm scared of mushing up my credit for the 2 years it takes for a foreclosure to stable out, i'm scared that we're going to run out of money, i'm scared that i'll lose my job (even tho i really, really cannot stand it, and even tho they'd never ever fire me) i'm just plain scared. and scared is such a wasteful emotion, it really, really really super duper is. it makes your brain fog and your eyes glaze over and causes your whole body to freeze up. it makes you stupid, it makes you blind, it makes you make mistakes that could have been prevented. it also stops you from living, loving, embracing taking PART in your life.
so i told my husband last night that this is it, i'm done being scared. i'm done fretting over my stupid speeding ticket, done with these crazy day-dreams when i'm driving home from work stuck in the worst traffic ev-er that i'm going to get arrested and thrown in jail and then my cat will be homeless and i won't have a car anymore blah blah blah. i'm done freakin out over our townhouse bc frankly? there are people in the world who are hurting so much more then we are right now. and? we own a condo that is rented right now , that is totally affordable, and we're lucky enough to be able to still hold on to that property and move in there at the end of december. unfortunately, it means that if this house doesn't sell between now and then, we'll have to just throw up our hands, hang out heads in shame, and leave the whole mess behind us.
and ya know what? not being scared is probably the best feeling in the world. i feel lighter, like i can BREATHE again.
and don't get me wrong, i'm doing everything in my power to finagle my way out of this pickle as financially safe as possible, but some things in life, you can't control. i'm just sayin, not having night sweats bc i'm dreaming about the bank trying to hunt me down w/a swat team and k9 units is really super great. so is deciding to live my life, and not just wave as it rolls on by.
so every day from now on i am going to do a turkeypost, which is going to be me, saying hallelujah for something that i value in my life. and today? it is so totally this:
my fav hot sauce EV-ER, Cholula. oh, i could sing this sassy lil' girls praises till sunday, bc this sweet gem in the. best. thing. EVER to come in combination with my food. mmm. yum yum. great on eggs, chicken, popcorn, corn, rice, pizza, beans, i could go on and on.
oh, you sweet sassy mama, you rock my culinary world.