Friday, October 10, 2008

well, i was (am) perusing my favorite blogs of choice this morning, and i fell across - she is truly hi-larious and keeps me smiling even tho we may not agree politically (hey now! i know this is a non-political blog but i hadta put SUMTHIN' didn't i??) (just ignore me. most people do.) but we just try to ingore that little tidbit. anywho. go read her! she's fun. i swear. promise. pinky promise. seriously. no joke. i do not lie! (i only lie about really good things. when it matters. ah hell. i totally lie. wait. i take that back. i don't. gotcha! confused?) she did a post about "Top Ten Things That Set my Teeth at Edge". oohhh.... i rubbed my palms together and said, mmmm this is too good to not sink my teeth into. get it? teeth? sink? at edge? uhm. still there? (taptap) hello?

anyway, here's my list.

1) people who are rude. honestly, i cannot stress this enough- how hard is it to be nice to someone? seriously. do you REALLY need to get snarky? okay, okay, if i deserve it? give it to me. but really? coworkers? do they really need to be jerks and mean to everyone? (this is directed at one particular person at my work and while i will not name names, she is... holy hell... the snarkiest and meanest and most UNHAPPY person i've ever come across.)

2) people who think they are above refilling things. plastic silverware drawer, paper towels, toilet paper, ANYTHING like that. it. drives. me. nuts.

3) people who are too cautious while driving. bc really? one-lane road? you're going 20 in a 45? REALLY? are you SERIOUS?

4) when my husband ignores the dishwasher. and sink. oh hell, the whole kitchen. and leaves his plates. covered in ranch dressing. overnight. on the coffee table. (bc he is afraid of the dining room) and i spend my morning scraping it off the plate and then am late to work. bc i cannot deal with old ranch dressing just chillin' on my coffee table. cannot. do it.

5) if you're going to call me? don't hang up bc you have a more important call coming thru at that exact moment. and then call me back, again, just when i've gotten back to doing what i was doing. THAT is annoying.

6) this always happens to me, but why am i always the lucky one who gets behind the person at the grocery store who a) has to bicker about 'this is on sale' and 'this is on sale' when THAT IS THE WRONG FROZEN PIZZA, it is NOT on sale, and after your poor husband runs around trying to PROVE THAT YOU'RE RIGHT, you realize OH WOW its' the pizza NEXT to that pizza! silly me! now i've just lost 7 minutes of my life standing at Piggly Wiggly. joy.

7) also, i am the lucky winner who gets in line behind those refusing to admit it's 2008 and it's okay to pay by debit card. hense, THE CHECK. seriously? is it really THAT important to use a check rather than the debit card? it comes from the same place. amen.

8) the post office. i don't think i need to go into further detail.

9) waiting for pics to upload onto the computer/blog/etc. for some reason, this drives me nuts. bc all i want to do is get them ON THERE and it takes forever. sigh.

10) this one tops the charts. my husband is from Russia. he imigrated here when he was 9 years old. so, obviously, his entire family speaks Russian. unfortunately, the second we sit down to dinner, the ENTIRE CONVERSATION is in Russian. to the point i have to keep asking my husband to translate for me. his response? "i have no idea what they're saying. i don't pay attention to them. your'e better off not speaking Russian." wow, love-of-my-life, soulmate-for-ever, thanks so much for that translation. it totally helped me understand that joke you JUST LAUGHED AT.


THE Stephanie said...

Hilarious. I say you take up Russian on the side and surprise your husband one day by completely understanding EVERYTHING they're saying!! lol

Jenn said...

This was extremely funny and I started laughing out loud (at work) on the very last one with the Russian comment!