PICTURES!!!!!!!!!!!

hi guys. so i'm at home, chillin', readin' my book, home alone for the night since vlad has to work late... thinkin'.... what am i gonna do with myself??? a book can only go so far. (sorry, j.r. ward.) and the movies i rented the other night? not so far. not by a long shot. then i hear my phone beeping it's little heart out bc i've been a bad mom and let it run out of battery. crap- home alone and no phone equals BAD IDEA. so i run upstairs to get the charger, glance at the computer, see my camera and BAM! remember hey! you wanted to upload pics! do! it! now! you lazy sod! before you totally flake out! like always!

wow! i'm so uppity!

ahem. anyway. so, here we go. just a few that i've uploaded... bc for some horrible reason my computer decided I DONT LIKE PICTURES within the last ten minutes. these took me forever to get up. but. uhm. yeah. so here we go:


this, my dear friends, is the FLOOD i was talking about. do you see this? can you understand that there is a major two-lane STREET under all that water?? and we only live in ILLINOIS not southern mississippi?? or alabama? or georgia? or.. or... ya'll know what i'm talkin' bout. anyway. look at that! insane. and even more insane- there are PEOPLE WALKING IN IT.

let me just tell you about this water for a minute, bc it is no normal water. and before you go thinkin' it's some sort of amazing water-into-wine-water, let me tell you, nosirreebob it is DEFINITELY not. bc, my friends, the reason why there was such a huge flood is bc 1? Des Plaines has a HUGE RIVER, and this road is aptly named "RIVER ROAD" and thus? was flooded. BUT. it wouldn't have been AS BAD if it weren't for the lovely... er... how shall i put this... uhm... the IN DIRE NEED OF UPDATING sewage system.

ding ding! you got it. that's sewer. water. that. people. are. walking. in. that my husband had to walk through to get into his auto body shop to make sure all the electrical issues were taken care of- my husband who gagged the whole time, wore old shorts and shoes and threw them out as soon as he was done. my husband who scrubbed his legs RAW after this. one of our best friends, Danny, married to Britt who's just so fab- he went with vlad to 'deal' with the whole mess and he was honest to god trying to talk vlad into putting himself into a garbage can and FLOATING to the damn shop. i kid you not. seriously. (idiots) what clever men. and no they didn't do it.

this next one is the front of his shop. please take note of the minivan ditched so ungraciously in the street. and also notice, the windows are down. think someone wanted to claim flood insurance? i think so.

okay. off of the flood for the moment bc honestly? my attention span is dwindling and my computer is slow tonight (bc it hates me) bc i need to do updates but am too lazy, so i'm trying to get as many pics up as i can. this next one is of my friend Holly and me, she's a model when she's not working a full-time job and i had just gone to support her in one of her shows, at a bar/club in downtown chicago. here we are, sneaking into the 'VIPonlysection' aka the 'really crappy back of the bar' section. ahem. i'm the blonde on the right. in case you didn't figure that out.

this next one is from my weekend two weeks ago..... dun dun dun... the RUSSIAN BRUNCH. the lady on the left is my sister in law, Kathy. and uhm. that's me. i look all big-nosed and distorted bc i was concerned about getting the angle right on the photo. yeah. that's it. that's my story and i'm stickin' to it.

and this. here, my friends, is the table. or, part of the table. notice the HUGE bottle of bourbon just chillin', a little sipped off the top, and mind you, this was at TWELVE IN THE AFTERNOON. on a SUNDAY. with VODKA. and wine. and ... and... uhm... so i had a glass. i mean, a small one. okay. c'mon now. do you BLAME a girl for getting a tiny sip of Pinot when you're surrounded with Russian nonstop and you don't have a clue to next sunday what they're sayin'??? i KNOW that there are at least some of you who would have done the same thing. ahem. anyway.

and this... i am sorry to say... is the topper. the big kahuna. THIS was part of the main course. catfish. STILL. WHOLE. look at that lil' guys' face. he looks so sad. sort of 'aw shucks, here i am all cooked and all, and you're gonna put me on a blog? seriously? i am SO mortified.' and he has no eyes. know why? no, not bc they remove them when they cook the poor guy. bc people EAT THEM. for GOOD LUCK.

excuse me while i take a moment to throw up in the back of my mouth. EWYUCK.

Also, please take note of TERMINATOR in the back rear. yes. that is my wonderful grandma. actually my husbands grandmother. she had laser surgery on her eyes, and bc, you know, we're at a russian restaurant at NOON on a SUNDAY and all, the STROBE LIGHTS were hurting her eyes so she had to put on the glasses. oh, yeah. you betcha. strobe lights. you read correctly. so while i had to deal with casper the catfish kindly telepathing (i know this isn't a real word. pfft. i like it.) his request for his eyes back, i also had to spend a good half hour trying not to LAUGH MY BUTT OFF at poor grandma. bc seriously? terminator? at a brunch? with some Pinot?

stick a knife in me bc i'm done, ya'll.

and so i leave you with one last photo. this is my husband, Vlad (Vladimir), the russian, the crazy man, the boy i love, the man of my dreams. he's being silly here. but i forgive him. bc really?

i totally made him do this. i call it 'the hulk.' cuz i'm original like that, yo.

more pics to come. i promise, cross-my-heart-and-hope-to-die, please don't stick a needle in my eye, girl scouts honor promise.

(swear on my juicy couture and cole haan handbags swear, and if i had some prada or gucci, that too!)