Friday, February 13, 2009

friday morning and i'm sick, i'm tired, and i'm sickened by loss.

so people think my fear of flying is a load of bull.

let me take you to summer of.... hm. summer of me turning 17;

i was flying out of london into o'hare international, and suddenly, the plane loses altitude OVER THE FRICKIN ATLANTIC and we lose lights, the turbulance is HORRID, we're flipping around like a fish outta water and headed straight INTO the water.

cut to the night before i was to leave London after an AMAZING two week trip thru europe- btw, salt caves in i think austria? totally awesome, if not a bit claustrophobic and creepy. the salt is good, tho. best i've ever had.

also? swarovski is a must. their set designs are amazing.

anyway. so i had this terrible dream that our plane was going to crash. the funny thing was, the plane was an OLDER model. you know, not nice and crisp and navy blue and silver and grey, but that old funky weird mottled brown with the weird orangey red stripes and some hints of mustard. yeah. the kinda planes they redid like two years prior.

so yeah. woke up in a cold sweat in the middle of London in some craptastic hotel that honestly? had some weird ass stains on the bed and i decided to spread my dirty clothes out and sleep in layers. yeah. i slept ON my dirty clothes IN all the clothes i had. yeah. not nice.

so i load up, exhausted as all get out, drag my sorry butt downstairs to the lobby to stock up on the croissants they set out in crates in the morning for us poor hostel kids and i cramcramcram as many as i can into napkins and then into my backpack-

hey, they were free, and btw? mad cow disease? yeah. the entirety of europe was dead-set on serving pork. and at the time i didn't eat pork, and good lord, i survived on croissants and chocolate that entire trip.

also? if you don't like mustard, i warn you, NEVER go to Dijon, France. just sayin'. mustard soup? uh,......... i won't be sad if i never see that again.

where was i? oh yeah. so. i'm cramming my mouth with croissants while wearing frumpled clothes and hauling all my crap thru customs just to board this plane for the next 11 hours and then BLAM

the plane is plummeting to earth. or. water. atlantic. yeah. nooooooot fun my friends.

it regained altitude but that damn flight was the worst i ever, ever had. it scarred me for life. and the freaky thing? when we land in chi town i call my moms up and i'm all YO I ALMOST WENT SWIMMIN IN THE ATLANTIC AND EATEN BY A SHARK AFTER I WAS SUCKED TO THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN BC OF THE PULL OF THE SINKING PLANE OH MY EFFING LORD

and she goes, 'uh, yeah..... i knew something was wrong when they wouldn't divulge any information whatsoever to family members as to where the plane was, or how it was going.'


and then i had to get on another plane headed to Los Angeles, so i could get home to socal. yeah. and when i got on that plane?

i. kid. you. not. it was the same plane from my dream. and iw as sitting in the SAME FLIPPIN SEAT and the SAME PERSON was next to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!

that flight was fine. it was actually a record-braking 2.5 hours to cali, which honestly, usually takes about at least 3.5 hours.

the entire flight i visualized us in a big white bubble and nothing could touch us and good lord please don't let me burn up into a piece of bacon that was in the oven too long cuz i'm only seventeen and i gots stuff to SEE!!! plus i lost 20 lbs in two weeks thanks to the no-pork diet (and beer. ahem. i drank lots of beer.) and i wanted to show it off.

yeah. so i was vain at 17. what else is new?

anyway. after those two backtoback flights, i was a mess. and thanks to them, i am now a nervous flyer. as in, i will avoid flying at ALL COSTS.

it helps that i totally think amtrak is chic and vintage and glam. btw i'm totally trekking on amtrak this may with my mom. they have the most fun little rooms and i LIVE for the dining car. so dignified and civilized.

where was i going with this whole post? oh. yeah. THIS. and you think i'm crazy bc i refuse to fly?

ahem. i think we all need to take a look at pilots who fly over 3k miles in one day. bc this? yeah.

this scared the bejesus outta me last night. as in, i'm still trying to talk Vlad out of flying to florida in may to meet up with me. cuz this?

this is so, so not cool, and scares me down to my bones.

my thoughts are on the victims of this terrible tragedy and their grieving families.

maybe cutting costs by cutting jobs and forcing employees to work horrid hours isn't the best solution. ya think?


Linda said...

I read about that this morning. What a tragedy. I think I cured any fear of flying when I jumped out of a plane. Yea, the pilot was that scary. I'm kidding!! It was all planned, we had a parachute and everything. But the pilot was scary.

Tina said...

I dont' blame you for being afraid to fly after all that. Hell, I wouldn't set foot in an airport after all of that. The first time I ever flew was when I was 27. I was in the bathroom (cuz I was NOT going on the plane) and that friggin John Denver song came on the overhead radio (think Final Destination). I totally freaked out. Flight ended up not being bad, extremely turbulent, but not too bad.

Anonymous said...

I am weird. I love to fly. Like big puffy heart with glitter LOVE it. Preferrably in first class, with no one sitting beside me. But you know more people die in fiery car accidents than they do falling out of the sky. But still it is very tragic.

Twenty Four At Heart said...

I hate flying too. Coming in to Dallas on American one time we had a "near miss" with another plane. It was so damn scary ... all of a sudden our pilot shot us straight up in the air (we were on descent) to avoid the collision. Gah! You could have heard a pin drop on that plane ... everyone knew we were about a second away from being dead. I hate to fly!

Lump said...

oh i couldn't stop watching the news when i heard this. SO SO SAD. i think there's more to the story....

but you know, I still love to fly, though.

midlife slices said...

I'm scared to fly too but I just suck it up and do it. I figure if I go down.....the scared and pain won't last long and then it will be over with. How morbid is that??? BTW, I've got 3 trips planned that involve air travel over the next 3 months. Wish me luck.

Mama Dawg said...

Despite everything I read and hear about planes, I still love to fly.