Monday, February 16, 2009

okay, i need a new body bc this shiz is too much.

so this morning i woke up and i honestly thought someone had pulled the old switcheroo on me and stole my body and gave me a 92 year old one instead.

i felt bad, folks. baaaad.

so then i went to the bathroom and the whole floor rushing up at me thing wasn't really doin' it for me. so i rolled my ass back into bed bc something tells me passing out and then driving a moving vehicle is a big no-no in the circle of life rule book.


anyway. so. i did the whole call my job and tell them i'm sick, then i texted my homeskillet girlfriend who i work with and was all DUDE I AM LEAKING AND FEEL CRAPPY and why am i like 92 years old now??? damn.

then she called me and we had a nice snarky conversation per usual and then my sorry butt went to sleep.

then i woke up around 11 or so when my mother texted me (yes. she has transitioned into texting. golf clap now, please.) thinking i had run away or something bc i hadn't answered her forty eleven emails yet per usual.

so then i rolled out into the living room where i've been all. day. and trust me when i say that this? is totally not where i want to be. bc i feel like CRAP friends. i really, really do.

hopefully a shot of nyquil around oh, eight or so will knock my happy ass out and i'll wake up tomorrow rested and NOT on my death bed ala this fine monday morning.

also yesterday was my aunt's baby shower.... and forty women in one small room makes lauren a very cranky girl. then vlad pissed me off (long story) and now, after this virus crap, i am thoroughly disgusted with the world and i had to put in my new birth control today and uhm hello? my vajayjay and i are VERY familiar now. and that is all i am sayin.

other than being sick? SUCKS.

running out of sprite and ripping off three layers of my tongue bc i sucked the salt off of a bag of peanut shells?? yeah. that sucks too.


Ash said...

Feel better lady! Everyone around me is sick..yuck!

Smart Mouth Broad said...

You need some chicken soup, hot tea and some chick flicks or maybe some Disney movies. Hope you're feeling well again soon.

midlife slices said...

Poor Lo. I hope you feel better soon. You've been sick a lot. Do you take your vitamins? Do you get your Vitamin D (sunshine)? Do you get enough rest? Do I sound like your mother? LOL

Get well, Sweetie.

Anonymous said...

After reading all that. My thoughts go immediately to me. Did I read something about new birth control? I'm on the hunt for a new kind. One that won't make me so hungry all the damn time!! What you got? Something good?

Doesn't a sick day seem so relaxing when you aren't sick, then you actually catch a bug and it's all... I'd rather be at work, this sucks!!

Anonymous said...

Hope you are feeling better lady!! I spent the day yesterday with two hacking, sniffling, cranky kids....had to come to work to get some peace.

Jenn said...

Get better!!

Lump said...

ugh. that sounds horrible!! hope you start to feel better.

melanie said...

I could seriously get addicted to NyQuil.
I really, really miss the old stuff. It was stronger.
Should I not say that??