like frog legs.
like ... DUCK. who eats DUCK??? i feed my BREAD TO THE DUCKS!!! sigh. poor ducky.
so yeah. it occured to me last night as i was makin' a VERY Russian 'salad' (and i will enlighten you as to what "salad" means to a Russian) that i suddenly wasn't gagging anymore.
yeah. i'd totally gag when i made this thing. cuz it is not NORMAL i tells ya!!!!
but i don't anymore. cuz i've been makin' it for goin' on over 4 years now, and i've got this Russian food thing DOWN ya'll. i don't eat it. but i CAN make it.
so. this is called "Russian Cucumber Salad" aka, nasty sour cream concoction that all Russians seem to enjoy. you take a juicy, big innocent cucumber and then you CUT IT like nobodies business. i'm not violent or anything. i just adore cutting vegetables. call it "dull knife syndrome" aka, i need to buy a sharpening block.
so that's my ghetto cutting board. it gets the job done. and that's my Nobody's Business Knife. that's just a shade dull. but. it cut this cucumber like a junkie muggin' a wall street guy.
ew. this is where my poor innocent cucumber gets... gets.... UNVIRGINFIED. poor thing. that's sour cream. i like sour cream. in my mashed potatoes. in my twice baked potatoes. on my baked potato. along with a (pound) sprinkle of bacon.
this? uh, ew. kinda grosses me out. and kinda? is a nice word for another word i'll KINDLY leave out.
yeah i use my baking ... what is that called? BAKIN' WAND in my sour cream. cuz i'm non judgemental like that and all.
oh yeah. those are Lenox elephant salt n peppa shakers in the background. THANKS MOM. i am obsessed with all things elephant. lil known fact about me.
oh also? to ya'll that where all HUH??? when i said it's a known fact i hate my nose? it's cuz i do. it is round, i hate it, i want a new england pointy nose. and when it's cold out? it turns BRIGHT RED. but only on the round tip. i look like rudolph. it looks like a helicopter landing pad. all lit up and waitin' for the arrival. of the president. or. valentino. just sayin'.
also? i am obsessed w/bath n body works midnight orchid (i think that's what it's called???) hand soap. LOVE. IT.