Friday, December 5, 2008

do you ever feel like being TOTALLY CRAZZZZY random? like completely? or maybe not-so-completely but in my head it's normal but like, when i voice it? yeah. er, i think it's random. or. rather. YOU do.

argh. i've had a hard tough time tryin' to VERBALIZE this bizzz, yo!!

okay. so. i wanted to post but i have really nothing of interest to say except that i really super duper like talking and uhm i think there are a couple of cooky peepers out there(yeah i'm talkin to you)who actually READ this weirdos mind patterns and..... on the journey we go, my friendies.

do you ever get vertigo? i'm not just talking afraid of heights. i'm talkin, cant-walk-next-to-the-railing, avoid-escalators-at-all-costs, fallin'-on-the-ground-freaked-out when on top of the sears tower, VERTIGO.

well i do. i have it. yep. i have this INTENSE fear of heights. moreso the thought of falling. yeah, skydiving? uh, the plane would have to be ON FIRE and i would still have to be pushed. yeah. i would even consider jumping into the OCEAN out of that burnin' hunk a junk before i let myself parachute out.

this is my house. funny, right? that i have a house that is LOFTED TILL NEXT TUESDAY. yeah. i don't know what that means but i say it a lot and i know it may not make sense but AGAIN. this is called slap happy musings. and damn straight that's what this here chicken-scratch is.

yeah. so i'm upstairs and when i lean over? that's my foyer. and part of the living room. o and also the tv that vlad bought on sale for his work and.... never took it to work. oops. it's now a convenience place for me to put jackets and purses. i am just so brilliant and clever that way.

anyway. does this photo freak ANYONE OUT? it freaks me out. i get sweaty palms and my palms and bottoms of my feet get this unpleasant tingling sensation and i get short of breath and sort of SPAZ OUT. more than usual.


oh did i ever mention that our dryer broke? i think i did. and then we got a new one? yeah. i mentioned that too. did i mention that it doesn't have HEAT? yep i told ya that nugget too.
never underestimate the ingenuity of a male. if he wants something done bad enough, doggonit, he will FIND. A. WAY. (if you build it, he will come) so. this is my husband, champion laundry man.... using my half-wall-thingie-i-have-no-name-for-it as a sort of assembly line of drying clothes. it doesn't really bother me. it's kind of nice, actually, to walk out of the bedroom (which is behind me when i took this photo, just in case you were dyin to know that tidbit) and have all your underwear, socks, bras and jeans and shirts all ready to go. except when friends come over. yeah. i don't think they've EVER seen me move as fast as i did when all of my unmentionables were laid out on display like Chiclets (how do you spell this??? aaaghhh!!) in tijuana. (if you've never been there, ignore that.)



oh and remember when i sort of kind of told you that i have this really weird habit of SPYING ON PEOPLE? yeah. i have THE BEST view into my neighbors house. SERIOUSLY. it is priceless man. and they always have their blinds open!!! it is WEIRD. they go to bed at seriously no joke like 7.30 and then watch tv or read for HOURS. they stay up later than me!!! like past 11!!! on a SCHOOL NIGHT!! these are rebels, ya'll. and they have shiny turquoise drapes. I KNOW. totally weird, right? so anyway. i just wanted to share with you. this is the view out of my bedroom window. vlad has found me, in the dark, watching the neighbors (who have like a two year old. what does this kid DO when the parents go watch tv for hours at night??? it's things like this that keep me up at night.) from a crouched position on the floor. and many a time he has said, you know, sometimes i think you're normal but moments like this? remind me of how odd you really are. stop being a peeper.
but i don't stop. i can't stop. if you didn't want me to see, then CLOSE THE BLINDS. nuff said.
oh and also? so ya'll don't call me a peeper too? i took this picture when the blinds were CLOSED. bc i respect other people's privacy. sometimes. well. enough that i won't post a picture on the world wide web of them sitting in bed watchin' tv. (cuz they would totally know it was me from the angle) bc i have dignity and respect for other human beings.
but still. i had to share. cuz i know you-all were just DYING to know what i do with my nights. when i'm not blogging. or playing wii. or staring at my cat bc she meows like i routinely step on her tail or something. which i don't. i love her. but anyway.
was this random enough? i don't think so. this is my pet peeve- when i'm in the grocery store never. freakin. fails. that when i'm in the line? yeah. it's moving fast, i'm zoning out watchin' rachel ray (who always had THE BEST jewelry) on the little tv screen they now have there (really? ingenious. kudos, grocery store marketing team) readin' about brittney spears or lindsay lohen and then BAM. it's my turn. and what happens? oh. yeah. they gotta switch shifts. never. fails. it is always ME who has to stand there like an idiot freakin' out cuz all of my items are laid out for the entire WORLD to see (really? why aren't carts solid? i HATE when people look in my cart. mind yo biz, lady!) and they take forever and then finally... he starts to ring me up.. or she... and they are the SLOWEST. CASHIER. EVER.
AAAAAAAAAGGGHHHH.
tonight? i think i almost popped a blood vessel tryin' to keep it all inside. cuz i know that job is kinda not the most fun ever. and the guy was super nice. but really? i'll just bag my own groceries next time. eggs and steak? do NOT belong in the same bag. even IF they are both animal by-products. and who buts BACON with bisquik? that bisquik, man, has a nasty left hook cuz my bacon? totally has the bacon equivalent of a black eye.
and in case you're wondering what that is.... SMUSHED.
hope your bacon fairs better than my bacon, friends. and make sure bacon goes with steak. just sayin'.

4 comments:

Mom said...

Lor,

You crack me up peeper.
For those that wonder if a conversation with my daughter can spill into random tangents, it can and does frequently. She come by it honestly.

Love You. Mom

KD @ A Bit Squirrelly said...

Will you move with me and be my BFF? Cause then I know wherever I end up I will at least have entertainment.

xoxo

Midlife Slices said...

You are like a butterfly, just landing randomly all over the place. So entertaining to watch even though you have no idea what it's purpose is. LOL

Mama Dawg said...

I think we would have so much fun if we were to ever meet for drinks. For real.