anyway. so there was a time in my life that i resembled a boy. why, you ask? oh, i think it has something to do with my lovely mother giving me the worst haircut of my life. the bowl. yeah. i don't know if she literally stuck a bowl on my head and went to town bc she was all hopped up on halloween candy and white zinfandel, or if she actually PAID for this monstrosity, but let me tell you bloggies, it is NOT. GOOD. i give you the evidence.
yeah. doesn't help that i decided to bust out my totally rad acid-washed jeans, nor the fact that i wore my coveted "ewape valley" soccer sweatshirt. which i have no idea how i got a hold of that thing bc, well, there is only one time in my life that i've played on any sort of sports team (besides cheerleading, and while i do identify the type of competitive cheer i participated in as a genuine sport, others don't, and i don't want to get all soap boxy over something as harmless and cheerleading. moving on) and while it was soccer, it was about two years prior to the poor 'lori turns larry' incident. (also i have a cat- well my parents have it now- that started out as lola and is now larry. yeah. it has to do with.. uhm.. ahem, "male plumbing" that doesn't quite descend right away.) so here, my friends, is the PROOF that i DID TOO play on a soccer team. bc no one in my real life EVER believes that one.
see those biker shorts? yeah. they were neon. i wore them ALL. THE. TIME. until one day they didn't fit quite so much anymore and they 'disappeared.' yeah. uh-huh, sure, mom. but anyway. so yeah. i was at the aquarium i think in Philly at the time, circa... maybe... well, i think of my life not in terms of what year it was, but where i lived at the time. bc i've lived in: Ohio, Massachusetts, Ohio again, Pennsylvania, yep once again O-hi-yo, Chicago, California, and Illinois all over again. so. at this time i was probably around 7 bc i was in third grade and in gool ol' PA. joys of your dad being a marine for 29 years. you can see how thrilled i am. yippie.
this next photo is proof that i was also, once-upon-a-time, a glamorous, cheeky child. note that i have no pants on. yes. very strange. but then again i am not and have never been 'normal'.
notice how i cleverly accessorized with yellow? yeah. yellow and blondes don't mix. idon't wear yellow anymore. but when your hair is WHITE? oh, rock it hunny! like the 1988 sun visor that's totally tinted plastic? oh yes. and the blue ruffled curtain in the back? and the drab weary flower table cloth? sigh. my mother was all 'country-chic' for the first part of my life. thankfully she woke up when we moved to california.
somethin' about prairie blue just doesn't vibe on the west coast.
anyway. so i thought, why not give a walk down memory lane? or. at least as much as i can while i'm at work and i don't have my photo albums at my mercy.
but i thought it would be cool to see OTHER PEOPLES pictures. got any i-swear-im-a-girl don't-mind-my-haircut photos? any glammed out ones? any funny stories? (or cute ones?)
here's a story for you to which i have no photographic evidence but i can assure you, it happened: when i lived in Pennsylvania, probably around the same time as the soccer photo, i wanted to be Madonna. no, seriously. i was going to grow up and be madonna. i had black cowboy boots that had silver chains on them. i wore my black dance leotard. and black denim mini skirts. my hair was shock white and short, i had a gap in my front teeth, and i rocked it like nobodies business.
it was so bad, my mother used to tell me, 'march your butt back up there and put on at least ONE piece of clothing that has COLOR.' bc the one and only time she let me out of the house to a public place (mall) dressed all in black? oh, back in the 80's, it got QUITE the looks.
but hey. what do you expect? i was born in 1984, and needless to say, mtv was my baby sitter.
although now, Madonna kind of freaks me out. just sayin'.