Monday, November 10, 2008

bc everyone loves pictures and cross dressing, right? ...hello?

okay. so it's a little early for me to pull out a real post, but i thought i'd put SUMTHIN on here for ya'll. i mean. if there are any of you guys out there. hello? ..this thing on?

anyway. so there was a time in my life that i resembled a boy. why, you ask? oh, i think it has something to do with my lovely mother giving me the worst haircut of my life. the bowl. yeah. i don't know if she literally stuck a bowl on my head and went to town bc she was all hopped up on halloween candy and white zinfandel, or if she actually PAID for this monstrosity, but let me tell you bloggies, it is NOT. GOOD. i give you the evidence.


yeah. doesn't help that i decided to bust out my totally rad acid-washed jeans, nor the fact that i wore my coveted "ewape valley" soccer sweatshirt. which i have no idea how i got a hold of that thing bc, well, there is only one time in my life that i've played on any sort of sports team (besides cheerleading, and while i do identify the type of competitive cheer i participated in as a genuine sport, others don't, and i don't want to get all soap boxy over something as harmless and cheerleading. moving on) and while it was soccer, it was about two years prior to the poor 'lori turns larry' incident. (also i have a cat- well my parents have it now- that started out as lola and is now larry. yeah. it has to do with.. uhm.. ahem, "male plumbing" that doesn't quite descend right away.) so here, my friends, is the PROOF that i DID TOO play on a soccer team. bc no one in my real life EVER believes that one.

see those biker shorts? yeah. they were neon. i wore them ALL. THE. TIME. until one day they didn't fit quite so much anymore and they 'disappeared.' yeah. uh-huh, sure, mom. but anyway. so yeah. i was at the aquarium i think in Philly at the time, circa... maybe... well, i think of my life not in terms of what year it was, but where i lived at the time. bc i've lived in: Ohio, Massachusetts, Ohio again, Pennsylvania, yep once again O-hi-yo, Chicago, California, and Illinois all over again. so. at this time i was probably around 7 bc i was in third grade and in gool ol' PA. joys of your dad being a marine for 29 years. you can see how thrilled i am. yippie.
this next photo is proof that i was also, once-upon-a-time, a glamorous, cheeky child. note that i have no pants on. yes. very strange. but then again i am not and have never been 'normal'.

notice how i cleverly accessorized with yellow? yeah. yellow and blondes don't mix. idon't wear yellow anymore. but when your hair is WHITE? oh, rock it hunny! like the 1988 sun visor that's totally tinted plastic? oh yes. and the blue ruffled curtain in the back? and the drab weary flower table cloth? sigh. my mother was all 'country-chic' for the first part of my life. thankfully she woke up when we moved to california.
somethin' about prairie blue just doesn't vibe on the west coast.
anyway. so i thought, why not give a walk down memory lane? or. at least as much as i can while i'm at work and i don't have my photo albums at my mercy.
but i thought it would be cool to see OTHER PEOPLES pictures. got any i-swear-im-a-girl don't-mind-my-haircut photos? any glammed out ones? any funny stories? (or cute ones?)
here's a story for you to which i have no photographic evidence but i can assure you, it happened: when i lived in Pennsylvania, probably around the same time as the soccer photo, i wanted to be Madonna. no, seriously. i was going to grow up and be madonna. i had black cowboy boots that had silver chains on them. i wore my black dance leotard. and black denim mini skirts. my hair was shock white and short, i had a gap in my front teeth, and i rocked it like nobodies business.
it was so bad, my mother used to tell me, 'march your butt back up there and put on at least ONE piece of clothing that has COLOR.' bc the one and only time she let me out of the house to a public place (mall) dressed all in black? oh, back in the 80's, it got QUITE the looks.
but hey. what do you expect? i was born in 1984, and needless to say, mtv was my baby sitter.
although now, Madonna kind of freaks me out. just sayin'.


10 comments:

Linda said...

OK. mistaken for a boy at age 7? Cute! Mistaken for Yard Maintenance MAN in my own yard? at age 30? Not so much.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Love the pictures! Sorry, I have no embarrassing pictures of myself. Nope, not me. Never. LOL

Melissa Ellen Hughes Parker said...

YOU ARE SO CUTE - and too hilarious.

That pic - have you ever read the beautiful Nie's blog? Check it out if you can - we all have our moments!
http://nieniedialogues.blogspot.com/2008/09/re-posted-pat.html

I loved hot colors too (your biker shorts :) as a kid. I was born in 83.

You have such a good sense of humor - and you really were (and are) a doll! A small little doll, but a doll!

(i wouldn't think you were weird if I saw you crying at work - although I'm sure my coworkers prob would think I am that post really spoke to me this morning. I'm not always all gushy - but it made me weep!)

Brandy said...

HAHA this is hilarious!! Oh the joys of childhood! =)

Lump said...

hahaha you are hysterical. and the photos are way to cute. I didn't have MTV until I was in High School because we lived in a town that couldn't get damn cable TV.

and it's ok I was mistaken for a boy when I was kid because I always wore my brothers' hand-me-down clothes.

Slick said...

My 9 yr old daughter just asked me who the cute boy was in that first photograph! LOL

Kidding :)

If it's any consolation, we can't be blamed for our baby pics!

Kimberly said...

Very Nice Lo... Love the pix! Yes, this thing is on!

Melissa Ellen Tweak said...

in case you were feeling a little odd for the tears you had a work this morning...I just went on my 3rd round of tears for the day! I'm not even a crier! I dunno. Just wanted to update you on my status :)

Melissa Ellen Tweak said...

you know the link above with the boy haircut? That's Nie - she's the one and her family that the story I posted is about. I've been reading her blog for a long time and in August they had a terrible accident...

I think you are right we had weepy cereal for breakfast!

I just LOVE Nie and CJANE - they are sisters and their links are on my page.

Twenty Four At Heart said...

I liked the pics!